Helpless
by Detective Olivia Stabler
Summary: Elliot and Olivia witness a murder and are helpless. But can they escape and help to find the killers, before the killers find them?
1. 1 Terror In The Night

_Helpless_

_(Chapter One: Terror In The Night)_

Olivia was sound asleep as she felt a cold hand clamp tightly around her mouth. She attempted to scream as she kicked and fought the attacker in the darkness, but her fear wouldn't allow anymore than a muffled whimper to escape her lips. His other arm closed tight against her waist holding down her arms as he dragged her from the chair she had fallen asleep in earlier in the evening. She felt the power of the strangers arms as he dragged her into the closet closing the door behind them as he burrowed his way behind long winter coats and hanging clothes. By now she wasn't even trying to scream anymore, only listening to the sounds that filled the lower level of the house. A scream and crying, then a loud thud. She felt the warm tears as they rolled down her cheeks.

"Liv," she heard Elliot's voice whisper in the darkness. "It's just me." He loosened his hand from over her mouth as he felt the wetness of her tears between his fingers.

"Elliot," she whispered turning her head to look at him in the dark, "what's going on?"

"I heard a noise and went to check it out. There are men in the house. I got downstairs and saw them walking around trashing the place. There was blood everywhere. Kate's mother was dead, they cut her up. Her father was beaten and covered in blood. I watched them shoot Max. And Kate…. Olivia, I think Kate's dead. I was too late to help them. I didn't bring my gun and my phone is in the car. I came back here to try and get to you before they did. We have to get out of here."

Olivia curled her knees to her chest and trembled in fear. She could feel the tears flooding her eyes once more. They were unarmed and trapped here in the closet, while her friends laid dead or dying downstairs. Kate was Olivia's college roommate and one of her closest friends. She and Max were supposed to be married in two days and Olivia was Kate's maid of honor. She and Elliot had flown in from New York the day before for the rehearsal and were staying here at Kate's parents house in guest rooms until the wedding. Unfortunately, neither of them had brought their weapons with them.

"Where is your phone?" Elliot whispered to her.

The dark and tiny space was quiet.

"Liv," he said cupping her face in his hands to look into her eyes, "your phone?"

She gasped for air and her stomach felt sick. She had never felt so helpless in her life. "My purse is downstairs," she whispered through her tears.

Elliot let go of her for a second and moved toward the front of the closet to push the door open just a bit and scan the room for a phone. He spotted the phone jack on the wall under the neatly made bed and followed the cord with his eyes along the wall and behind the nightstand on the other side of the room.

"There is a phone on the table across the room," he whispered to her.

Elliot leaned forward to crawl out of the closet in an attempt to reach the phone. He was only about a foot out of the closet when the hall light came on and he heard the men talking as they came up the steps. He dashed back into his hiding place, pulling the door shut and huddling with Olivia in a dark corner behind some boxes and coats.

Olivia began to shake and tremble, terrified as she cried and whimpered gasping for breath.

"Shhh, they might not even know we are here." Elliot pulled her tight against him as he held her in the dark. "Your bed is still made and I hadn't gone to bed yet. They picked us up at the airport, so there is no car. If we can wait it out in here until they leave, then we can go for help."

Just then someone kicked the bedroom door oven and Elliot threw his hand over her mouth once more. Olivia curled up into a tight ball and closed her eyes tight leaning in to him as the light came on and shadows passed the closet door. She whimpered softly as she trembled and Elliot could feel her tears as they began to soak through his shirt.

He held his hand tight over her mouth and tucked his chin against the top of her head as he combed his fingers in her hair in an attempt to comfort her. Elliot watched the tiny beam of light that spilled in through the bottom of the closet door as the shadows moved back and forth past it searching the room.

"There is nothing in here," one man said to the other. "Come on, let's just get the hell out of here," he said to his partner.

The closet door flew open and Elliot held her as tight as he could against him as a hand reached in and pulled the chain turning on the light. He covered Olivia's eyes with his hand and pressed the side of her face against his chest. Olivia closed her eyes and tried to focus her attention on the only safety she knew at the moment. She listened to the racing thump of Elliot's heartbeat against her ear and tried to block everything else out. The man reached up and thrashed the clothing and coats around in the closet then slammed the door shut again.

Olivia whimpered against his chest and gasped for air as the bedroom door closed and the footsteps moved back downstairs. Elliot raised her up and stared into her eyes.

"It's okay, it's okay," he said softly as he kissed her forehead. "I'm going to get us out of here."

He moved to the closet door and pushed it open again. He slowly made his way toward the bed.

"Elliot," Olivia cried softly behind him, "please don't leave me."

He turned around and reached back for her hand, slipping his fingers between hers and leading her to him in the darkness. She pushed the closet door slowly shut with her foot as they crawled across the carpet careful not to make a sound. They made their way around the foot of the bed to the nightstand on the other side. Olivia closed her eyes and leaned back against the wall as Elliot reached to the table and picked up the phone. But there was nothing, no dial tone or any sound at all.

"They must have cut the line to the house," he said setting it back down. Elliot raised up to look out the bedroom window. It was too far down to jump and there was nothing to climb down on, they would have to wait this out. He leaned back against the wall and looked over at Olivia.

He reached up and cupped his hand against the side of her face. She was crying again and if it wouldn't scare her more, he would probably do the same. His eyes scanned over her body trembling in the dark. Their eyes had adjusted to the shadows enough by now that they could see each other pretty well. He reached up and brushed some hair from her eyes and smoothed away a tear.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly as he dragged his hand over a red mark on her arm that he had made when he pulled her from the chair. He moved his hand over the light blue satin knee length night gown she wore and stopped it at a small mark just below her knee on the outside of her left leg. It was a carpet burn from where he dragged her into the closet and she struggled with him.

"I'm just scared, El. I'm not hurt," she replied softly.

Elliot raised his arm offering her sanctuary and she curled in against him again. He held her for a moment and placed a soft kiss against her forehead.

"I am so sorry, Liv."

She tipped her head back and looked into his eyes.

"No, I'm the one who should be sorry. I blew everything out of proportion. I guess I kind of freaked out."

"Yeah, just a little."

They were referring to the night before when somehow he had ended up in her bed. And for the first time in all of their years as friends and partners, they had finally given in to temptation. After a few glasses of wine at dinner, Elliot had come down the hall to talk to her. Neither of them was quite sure how it had even started, but it was a night of passion and amazing sex. But when they woke up together the next morning and awkwardness set in Olivia had pretty much avoided him the rest of the day. When he tried to speak to her she snapped at him about boundaries and how they never should have let it happen. Now as they sat here together in the dark, unsure if they would even see tomorrow, there were no regrets.

Elliot raised his head at attention.

"What?" She whispered.

"I heard a noise."

Olivia bit her bottom lip in anticipation as her eyes widened and the fear crept through her body once more. Elliot took her wrist in his hand and pulled her to him. They listened for a moment and heard another thump then the hall light came on again.

"Under the bed," Elliot demanded pushing her across the carpet, the two of them barely darting under in time.

The light in the bedroom turned on again as three pairs of feet entered this time. The two bad men pushed a battered and bleeding man, Kate's father, into the room demanding he lead them to the safe.

Elliot pressed his forehead to Olivia's as she stared into his eyes and a tear rolled across her nose. He brushed his thumb over it and softly brushed his lips against hers. Her big brown eyes stared into his.

"I love you," he mouthed breathlessly as the men tossed things from the closet across the room.

"I love you," she mouthed back to him without blinking.

Elliot raised his hand and tangled it in her hair. He pulled her in against him as tight as he could and kissed the top of her head. He could feel her heart pounding wildly against his chest. She was so scared.

Olivia turned her head to look out from under the bed as the boxes they had just been hiding behind were tossed across the floor.

"What is the combination?" One man demanded.

Kate's father rambled off some numbers.

"You open it." The man pushed him in to the back of the closet where they had just been hiding. A few moments later they heard the creek of the heavy metal door opening and they pushed him back out of the closet. As they did he fell across the bed causing the bedsprings to lower touching them. He stood up and as he did, one of the men shot him.

Elliot and Olivia watched from under the bed as Kate's father fell on his stomach on the carpet. He laid for a moment staring under the bed at them, he even attempted to reach out to them as if asking for help. But he died only moments later, his eyes still opened and fixed on them. Olivia's eyes filled with tears once more and she felt Elliot pull her in against his chest. She rolled to face him and buried her face in his chest.

Elliot held her for what seemed like days, tucked quietly under that bed as the two men took money and jewels and bonds out of the safe and piled them onto the bed. Sometimes he had to check Olivia to see if she was even breathing because she was so still and quiet.

For two hours they hid under the bed until Elliot heard the front door slam and a car pull out of the drive way. He brushed his hand over Olivia's cheek as she opened her eyes to look into his.

"I think they're gone," he said softly.

She stared nervously into his eyes, too afraid to move. Elliot tried to back out from under the bed but some of the boxes they had tossed out had wedged between the bed and the wall.

"We're going to have to go out your way," he whispered as he kissed her lips softly. "I'm right behind you."

"Okay," Olivia whispered with and nodded.

She rolled back over to face the dead man. She curled into a fetal position and crawled through a small space careful not to touch the body. She moved back and reached for Elliot's hand to held him out as well.

Elliot stood up and quickly took the lead. He locked his fingers in hers and walked slowly toward the door.

"Wait," Olivia said turning to reach the folded up pair of blue jeans she had taken off earlier in the night from behind the chair. She stepped into them and scanned the room for her shirt. But things had been strewn all over when the men were tossing the closet and she couldn't find it. She tucked her gown into her jeans, that would have to do for now.

Elliot leaned against the wall and opened the door just enough to peer down the hallway. It was clear, so he locked his fingers in hers and slipped out closing the door softly behind them again. They tip toed softly down the hall and descended the stair case. They walked out across the dining room floor as quietly as they could. Elliot cut through the kitchen to go out the back door, it was the closest exit as he remembered and he just wanted to get them out of the house.

But laying in the kitchen floor in a pool of blood was Kate.

"No," Olivia cried as she dropped to her knees and brushed Kate's blonde hair back from her face. She had been beaten up and stabbed and was covered in blood. She also had a gash on her forehead that was probably responsible for most of the blood. "Kate," Olivia whispered softly as she felt for a pulse. She lowered her face into her hands and began to cry again.

"She's gone, Liv." Elliot helped her to her feet. She now had Kate's blood on her in places and she looked so tired and afraid. He had to get her out of here.

"She is still warm, Elliot."

"Honey, we have to get out of here. Where did you leave your purse?"

"On the counter by the coffee pot."

Elliot lead her back around the counter toward the door. But her purse had been dumped and her things scattered across the floor and they took her wallet with the cash and credit cards. The cell phone smashed in the floor in front of them.

"Come on," Elliot said pulling her toward the door. "We'll go to a neighbor's and call the police."

Olivia nodded and he lead her out the door and across the yard. They ran for the cars, but all of the tires had been cut and Elliot's phone was missing.

"We're going to have to walk."

"Where, Elliot? We are six miles from the main road and probably at least ten from the nearest neighbor."

"We don't have much of a choice, Liv."

Just then headlights turned into the driveway as a truck pulled up toward the house. Elliot and Olivia ran around to the side of the house. Elliot somehow ended up across the yard from her. He leaned against the back side of a small shed and watch Olivia as she hid against the back side of the house.

"I'm telling you, the chick on the drivers license isn't the one from the house. Chicks don't leave their purses at other people's houses. If her bag was there, she had to be there."

Olivia gulped as the two men walked up the steps and back into the house. She listened as the screen door slammed then looked up at Elliot and motioned for their truck. She creeped out from beside the house and past the steps.

"Olivia no," Elliot whispered as loud as he could.

But she didn't listen. She walked slowly across the driveway, the rocks digging in to her bare feet and watched as a light came on upstairs. She moved a little more quickly over and peered inside the truck, but the keys were gone and there was no cell phone in there either. She heard the screen door slam again and Elliot watched helplessly as one of the men approached the truck.

Olivia managed to make her way around to the back side of a barn. She slipped back around to the side facing Elliot and waved to get his attention as the man went back into the house again.

"We have to get out of her now," Elliot said as he joined her behind the barn.

"I thought maybe they had keys or a cell phone or something."

She panted for a moment in the summer night heat as she looked around debating the best escape route. She walked over and climbed between the rows of a barbed wire fence and stared down a steep hill.

"Elliot look," she whispered pointing down the hill at a flickering light. "Do you think it's a house?"

Elliot looked back over hi shoulder watching the shadows of the two men as they searched the house for Olivia.

"Whatever it is, it's our best bet."

He climbed under the fence and they made their way slowly down the hill through the woods in the dark. When they reached the bottom they realized that the light was on the runway of a small private airport on the other side of a field. They walked toward it hoping to find someone, anyone who could help them.


	2. 2 Misunderstanding

_Helpless_

_(Chapter Two: Misunderstanding)_

Olivia felt the sting of the early morning dew covered grass under her bare feet like tiny shards of broken glass. Her toes were almost numb to the harsh earth beneath them now. They had probably walked nearly a mile down the hill and through the woods and trees, before they had even reached the field. Now, almost half way across the airplane hangers still appeared as tiny little buildings far off in the distance.

Elliot reached over and slipped his hand in hers. Olivia's legs were almost trembling with the adrenaline that now filled her body. She was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to go home and take a hot shower and climb into her own bed and sleep. To wake up the next morning and realize that this was all some horrible dream. But it wasn't a dream. This was real, very real and if they didn't get someplace soon and get some help their lives could be in danger as well.

Elliot looked over at Olivia. Her hair somehow still held neatly in place, her freshly manicured set of fingernails were now missing two that had broken off in her struggle with him, her blue jeans were dirty and torn over one knee now where they had caught on the barbed wire at the bottom of the hill. She wore no shoes and her painted toes were covered in little cuts and scrapes and mud. The bottoms of her jeans were soaked now from the dew on the grass and she had spots of Kate's blood dried on her face and in her hair and on her clothing from kneeling beside the body and feeling for a pulse. Elliot knew that she was hanging on only by a thread and he was not about to let her slip over the edge.

Finally they approached the airplane hangers and office buildings. This was a tiny private airport and it appeared everything but the large light over the runway was shut down for the night. They climbed the steps to one of the office buildings, but it was locked and there was no one in site. Elliot looked back at Olivia as she sat down on a step and pulled her knees to her chest to rest for a few moments. He pressed his forehead against the glass to look inside.

There was a CB type radio and a telephone, they had to get into this room. He looked around for a moment for something to try and pick the lock with. Finding nothing he looked down at Olivia staring back up at him. She was depending on him to get her through this. Elliot turned back around and kicked the door open without a second thought. He turned back to Olivia and reached for her hand and helped her inside.

Elliot picked up the phone.

"Thank God," he said hearing a dial tone and dialing 911 to contact the nearest police department.

He hung up the phone and closed the door then took a seat beside her in the floor of the small room.

"They are sending someone here to get us," he said as he brushed his thumb across her forehead.

Olivia turned her weary eyes to look at him. Elliot wrapped his arm around her and pulled her head against his chest once more.

"We're going to get out of here, Olivia. I promise you."

She nodded her head, but said nothing.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she replied softly.

Several minutes later they could hear the sirens of the police cars as the approached the house up the hill. They stood and looked out the large glass window that overlooked the runway and could see the flashing red and blue lights as they began to surround the house where Kate and her family had been killed. Another minute or two and two police cars raced up the runway toward them with their lights flashing and sirens blaring. Elliot took her hand in his and lead her out to the pavement in front of the building as the cars approached them.

"Put your hands on your head and don't move," an officer barked at them as he drew his gun.

They both raised their hands to their heads and waited as a deputy approached them patting them down.

"They are clear." he said as he stared at Olivia. "She's covered in blood. But she has no wounds."

Olivia lowered her hands and turned to explain.

"We were in the house…." was all she got out before the officer yelled at her to put her hands back on her head and held his gun on her.

"We're police in New York," Elliot said with his hands still on his head.

"I don't care if you are Santa Clause, mister! I got four bodies up that hill and your little girlfriend here is covered in blood from my crime scene. In my book, that makes you suspects."

"That is ridiculous! She has blood on her because she tried to help one of the victims. But she was already dead. They all were. And we barely got out of the house before the killers came back. We climbed down the hill and came here and I called you. That is why you are even here."

"We're here responding to the silent alarm triggered when you chose to break into this building. Now back in New York breaking and entering is still against the law isn't it?"

"Yes," Elliot replied obviously annoyed.

"Then save it for your fancy lawyer, buddy. You're under arrest for breaking and entering and trespassing on private property."

"This is bullshit!" Elliot protested as the deputy cuffed his hands behind his back and lead him to the car.

"You too princess," he said looking at Olivia as she lowered her hands behind her back peacefully so he could cuff her.

An hour later they sat in separate interrogation rooms being interviewed by the sheriff and his deputy.

Olivia gave up the information she knew freely three different times, not changing a single detail of her story. The fourth time she was questioned about the details she asked for her lawyer.

Elliot however didn't give anything up at all. He lawyered up as soon as they sat him down. He sat and listened as the officers trampled on his constitutional rights and insisted that Olivia had flipped on him. Just how stupid did they think he was? There was nothing for her to flip on. He leaned back in his chair and said nothing except that he would speak only in the presence of his attorney, as he crossed his arms in front of him.

One of the officers rolled his eyes and cuffed Elliot again as they lead him to the telephone to call his lawyer. Elliot called Casey of course, but only got a voice mail. He left a message with the contact information to the jail where they were being held and hung up the phone.

They walked him back toward the holding cells. As they rounded the corner he saw Olivia standing with her hands against the wall as one of the arresting officers frisked her. Elliot watched closely as the mans hands smoothed over the curves of her body and he turned and smiled at one of the other male officers across the room as he cupped her breast in his hand above her gown.

Elliot jerked free of the officer escorting him and punched the man in the jaw for assaulting her. He shoved the man against the wall and hit him again in the nose causing it to pour blood all over the floor.

"You keep your fucking hands off her!" He yelled as he slammed the man against the wall a second time.

In the next second Elliot had a knee in his back and had fallen to his knees on the floor as a fist caught him in the bottom lip, pressing it against his front tooth and splitting it. Olivia watched silently as two officers demanded Elliot lay against the floor and they cuffed him again. They jerked him around and tossed him into a cell in the back of the jail house, closing the iron bars behind him.

Olivia however, they escorted the other direction walking her into a small area and making her remove all of her clothing and take a three minute shower to wash away the blood. She stepped out as a female officer handed her a towel and walked her across the room.

"Where are my clothes?" She asked looking at the woman.

"They are evidence now," she said handing Olivia a pair of orange pants and a matching button down shirt.

"Even my underwear?"

"Everything. Just get dressed and don't give me any trouble."

Olivia nodded and dressed herself, then used the flimsy black plastic comb the woman had given her to try to tame her hair. The woman gave her a pair of socks and thin slippers, then handed her a blanket and guided her to the back of the cell block. She unlocked the cell and nudged Olivia toward the door.

"No funny stuff," she snapped.

Olivia stepped inside and watched as the woman slid the bars shut in front of her. Elliot raised his head as the door slammed shut.

"Liv," he said rising to his feet, "are you okay?"

"Yeah," she said softly raising her fingertip to touch his busted lip.

"I'm fine."

"You shouldn't have done that Elliot. We are in so much trouble already."

"I don't give a damn! I am not going to stand there and watch an officer of the law sexually assault you and do nothing about it!" She blinked her dark eyes at him and he realized he had been yelling at her. Elliot backed up a little bit to give her a little space. "I tried to call Casey, all I got was a voice mail. But I left a message with the contact information."

"She's catching a red eye flight. She'll be here in the morning."

"You talked to her?"

"Yeah."

"Good. She'll get here and get all of this mess straightened out. If anyone can get us out of this mess it is Casey. She does this for a living. She has tried harder cases than this and won them, no problem."

"I hope you're right," Olivia said sitting down on the edge of one of the beds in the room.

Elliot sat at the top of the bed and leaned back against the wall. He looked up at Olivia's exhausted eyes.

"You should try to get some sleep."

"I can't sleep. Not now. Not here, after what we have seen." She took a deep breath.

Elliot reached out for her hand.

"Here Liv," he said as she placed her palm in his. He pulled her gently across the bed and against his chest. We wrapped his arms tight around her waist, holding her against him. He cupped his hand against the side of her face and combed his fingers through her hair.

"You're safe now. I'm right here with you, Olivia. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you. Close your eyes sweetheart and get some rest."

She stared up into his eyes for a moment. Elliot placed a soft kiss against her forehead. Her heavy eyes struggled to stay open for a few more seconds then she nestled her face into him and fell asleep.

Elliot closed his eyes and tried too get some sleep as well. There wasn't anything else they could do, but wait for Casey to arrive.


	3. 3 Coming Home

_Helpless_

_(Chapter Three: Coming Home)_

It was around nine o'clock in the morning when Olivia whimpered and jerked in Elliot's arms waking him. She was having a bad dream, probably reliving the events they had been through in the early hours that morning. He moved under her and raised her chin as she opened her eyes. She gasped for a second and he saw tears welling behind her eyes.

"It was just a dream, Liv. It's over now," he whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Casey will be here soon and then we're going home. Get you the Hell out of here."

A little while later Casey arrived and an officer lead Olivia out to talk to her.

"Oh, Liv. I am so sorry," Casey said as she hugged her. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine Case, I just need to get out of here."

"I brought you some clothes," she said pointing at a bag on the table across the room. "Lucky for you, you and I are just about the same size."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Where's Elliot?"

"They took him for his three minute shower. He should be back before long." 

They sat down at the table where Casey had brought them all a cup of coffee.

"So what's the damage, Casey?" Olivia asked as Elliot joined the conversation.

"Well, they are still insisting that you had something to do with the murders, because you had one of the victims blood on you when they found you. I know that is ridiculous, but they are going to try to make a case. And you…." she turned to look at Elliot. "As if charges for breaking and entering weren't enough, you assaulted a police officer?"

"Your damn right I did! He had his hands all over her! What was I just supposed to watch like everyone else seemed to be doing and see what else he did to her before someone stopped him?"

Casey looked at Olivia as she nodded her head.

"I might be able to get those charges dropped if we file charges against him. It will give me leverage and they would probably drop them to keep the sexual assault charge from going to court. Apparently they want to play hardball. But Elliot, you broke his nose."

"That is only because I couldn't reach his dick," Elliot mumbled as Casey shot him a glare.

"No more of this. I need you on your best behavior. I'm going to have to do a pretty convincing little song and dance for that judge to get you released into my custody until this breaking and entering thing actually goes to court. They have until then to try and make a case for the murder charges. Obviously they are going to get hair and fibers and finger prints from the residence because you were guests there. Did you touch anything pertaining to the murders? The gun, knife or any of the bodies?"

"I touched Kate," Olivia said looking up at her. "I knelt beside her to check for a pulse. When I did, I got her blood on my clothes and my hands. I touched my face and had some there also. But I never saw a weapon. Casey I can identify these guys. I saw them, well one of them really close."

"I saw them both. I saw them shoot Max and kill him. Then I went back upstairs to get Olivia."

"What exactly happened upstairs?"

"I walked quietly down the hall and into her room. She was asleep in the chair. I put my hand over her mouth and dragged her into the closet to hide. They came in looking around, but didn't find us. When they went back downstairs we came out into the room to try and call for help. But they had cut the phone lines to the house. They came back upstairs and we hid under the bed. They had Kate's father and made him open the safe for them. Then they shot him. Casey he was looking at us under the bed, reaching for us when he died. They took some stuff from the safe and trashed the place. We were under the bed about two hours and then they left. We went downstairs. They got Olivia's wallet with her cash and credit cards and drivers license. We got outside and they came back to look for her. I guess they realized that the woman on the drivers license was not the one they had killed. We climbed down a hill toward a light and ended up at the airport. They had a phone so I broke the door to get in. It was an emergency. Then they showed up and arrested us and brought us here."

"This whole thing seems so crazy. Are either of you injured?"

Elliot looked at Olivia and she shook her head.

"No."

"Good." Casey looked at her watch. "We'll see the judge in about an hour and I will see if I can get you released out on bond. Then I have to get special permission to take you back to New York with me. But you will have to return to Seattle for the actual trial."

"That is fine, just get us out of here."

An hour later they stood in court in front of the judge as Casey worked out a deal with him. No bond if they stayed out of trouble until trial. Casey was responsible for their actions and if they got so much as a speeding ticket they would both be shipped back here and be held at the county jail until the date of the actual trial in thirty days. Everyone agreed, the judge slammed his gavel down and just like that, they were free to go. 

They walked down the steps of the courthouse with Casey.

"We're not going to be able to get a flight out tonight. I think we should just get a couple of rooms at that motel up the road and leave out in the morning. None of us have had any sleep."

Casey turned to look at Elliot and Olivia.

"I am not above a red eye flight, Casey."

They both looked at Olivia.

"I just want to get back to New York."

"Okay then, I will call and see if I can get us on something and get the Hell out of here," Casey replied.

Their flight didn't leave until eight o'clock that night. Olivia laid her head against Elliot's on the plane and slept most of the way back. They were not allowed to take any of their belongings from the house until the crime scene had been thoroughly processed. At this point Olivia didn't care. She didn't want anything that had been in that house. 

They arrived back in New York around five o'clock the next morning. In the cab on the way back to Olivia's apartment Elliot realized something.

"Liv, if those guys have your drivers license they know where you live. What's to stop them from coming after you?"

"What?"

"I just don't think you should go home. At least not until we get flyers out with their description and know who we are looking for. Look why don't you come back to my place for tonight. In the morning I will take you home to get some things. I think you should stay with me for a little while. At least until they catch these guys."

"Where Elliot, you have one bed."

"I sleep on the couch anyway. Liv, please. I just want to know that you are safe."

She took a deep breath and looked around the dark streets outside their cab.

"Okay, but just for a little while."

"Thank you," Elliot said tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

Back at Elliot's apartment, he gave her an old tee shirt and a pair of his boxers to sleep in. Olivia took a hot bath and soaked for a while to relax. Elliot fixed her a cup of hot tea to help her unwind and before they knew what was going on, they had fallen asleep curled up together on his sofa wrapped in a blanket. Olivia tucked her forehead in against Elliot's chest and they slept this way most of the day. 

A little later Olivia woke him when she got up to use the bathroom. Elliot stretched and sighed. It had been nearly two days since either of them had gotten any decent sleep and this couch just wasn't cutting it. Olivia came out of the bathroom and returned to the living room. But Elliot and the blanket were gone. She laughed and fixed herself a glass of water then walked down the hall to the bedroom. 

Elliot had covered the curtains with a heavy blanket to make it dark in the room. He laid across the bed and looked up at her. Olivia hesitated for just a moment.

"Liv, come on. It's okay. I'll behave, I promise."

She smiled and looked into his eyes.

"El…"

"Honey, this is the only way either of us has gotten any sleep the last two days. You sleep better with me here and I sleep better knowing that you are safe. You can even have your own blankets, so I don't steal the covers. We can sleep all day if you want. When we wake up I will fix us something to eat and we can lay here and watch television until we are ready to sleep some more. And if you have bad dreams or get scared, I am right here beside you. Please, Liv?"

She stood there looking at him for a minute, then against her better judgment she crawled into the bed with him. She was too tired to dispute this with him now. Besides, she had kind of gotten used to waking up next to him and she felt so safe with him beside her. 

Elliot pulled the blankets up around them. Olivia laid there and stared at him for a few minutes not saying anything.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked.

"I can't," she said softly trying not to cry. "Not yet."

Elliot smoothed his hand over the side of her face, pushing her hair out of her face.

"You know I am right here when you are ready."

"I know," she whispered. "Good night, Elliot."

"Good night, Liv."

And moments later, she was asleep again.


	4. 4 Two Halves Of A Whole

_Helpless_

_(Chapter Four: Two Halves Of A Whole)_

Olivia sighed and Elliot opened his eyes to check on her. She had her back to him and had scooted all the way in against him. He had one arm stretched out under the pillow she rested her head on and his other fell around her waist. Olivia's fingers were laced tightly in his and her arm laid against his. Elliot watched her sleep. She looked so peaceful and beautiful.

His eyes skimmed over her body from head to toe. Her hair that laid fanned out around her face and the curve of her nose, her warm golden skin against his as their arms touched, her long slender legs and toenails painted with a soft pink polish. She very well may have been the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

He stared down at her and watched the gentle rise and fall of her chest with each breath she took. He thought back to that night, the night when he had laid in bed unable to sleep and walked down the hall to her room. He held her like this then. So close and tight to his own body it were as if she were and extension of him. Sometimes he wondered if she was. Another half of the whole that was only created when they were together. As if they were the same soul trapped in two different bodies, one male and one female, complete only in union.

He wondered if she had ever had these same thoughts. He laid his head against her pillow and watched her as he thought about how she had panicked when she woke up naked in his arms the next morning. She held the sheet against herself and pushed him from the bed, sobbing for him to leave her room. It broke his heart. When she came to him later and said that they had made a mistake when they had sex the night before. He felt it crumble in his chest.

And now here he was, sharing a bed with her once more. Their bodies fused together as one large mass of flesh and cotton, between three hundred thread count sheets. And still his heart was gone, only beating with hers. How could he tell her that it was not just sex for him? How could he tell her that he was making love?

After his divorce Elliot had sworn off dating. He had decided to get his life back on track and enjoy his life without the hassle of women for a while. With the exception of his daughters and his partner, of course. Olivia had invited him to come with her to Seattle for Kate's wedding. She seemed excited to have her two best friends finally be able to meet. Elliot, having no life of his own, agreed. It would be like a little mini vacation, he told himself as he packed a suitcase for the trip. And until that night it had.

He stared down at her now and thanked God that Olivia had talked him in to going on the trip with her. If he hadn't, she surely would not be there with him now. She would have probably been asleep in the bed, with no warning and been attacked like the others. He would have lost her forever. They never would have kissed or touched or made love. They wouldn't have been under that bed together and he would have never had gotten that chance to tell her that he loved her. He loved her. Elliot took a deep breath. He wondered if she had fully realized what he was trying to tell her when he mouthed those words to her. He wondered if he had meant the same when she mouthed her reply to him.

Olivia whimpered a little and stirred.

"I'm right here Liv," he whispered as he placed a soft kiss against her ear.

She moaned softly and rolled on to her back as she slowly opened her eyes to stare up at him. Elliot felt his heart pounding a thousand times a minute as he stared into the dark depths of her eyes. Without thinking he shifted and moved his hand allowing his thumb to glide gently down her jaw line and curve under her chin.

Olivia stared up at him with sleep still lingering in her eyes, blinking only once. After several long moments of staring into his eyes, she shifted hers to look at his mouth. This was a habit of hers. Elliot was not quite sure what it meant or why she did it, but she always had for as long as he had known her. As if somehow his mouth held the truth his eyes could not tell her.

Within moments their mouths were pressed gently together. He brushed his fingertips across the side of her face as he felt his tongue caress hers. Her kisses were amazing. Second only to her…..he could not believe this was happening. When the kiss had ended Elliot slipped his mouth around to the side of her neck and kissed it tenderly. Olivia closed her eyes for a second and moaned softly as he grazed the sensitive skin under her chin with his teeth as he sucked gently on it. Another sigh and he could feel his body reacting to her sounds.

"Elliot wait," she gasped placing her palm against his chest to push him back slowly.

Elliot watched her as she sat up in the bed. She took a deep breath and tucked her hair behind her ear. Then turned to look at him again.

"We can't do this. I'm sorry that I…" she paused for a minute then turned and climbed out of the bed.

Elliot reached out and grabbed her hand as she walked toward the bedroom door.

"Olivia, don't go."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She bit her lip nervously as she turned to look at him. Elliot scooted back to his side of the bed. He pulled the comforter down over him and across her side of the bed, then patted the spot where she had been laying.

"Talk to me," he said softly. "About anything, just don't go."

Olivia moved slowly back to the edge of the bed and sat down beside him.

"I don't want to do this Elliot…..sleep with you again…..have sex again. There is too much between us. I need you too much and if we do this…..I can't lose you," she sobbed.

Elliot reached to brush away her tears and slid her in next to him.

"You're not going to lose me."

"Things are just so screwed up," she sobbed as she raised her hands to her face.

Elliot placed his hand under her calf muscles and raised her legs back to the bed. He reached behind him and flipped the extra blanket over her so that there was a blanket barrier between them. He slipped his hand back into hers and lowered them both back to their pillows. Olivia laid on her back and turned her head to look at him.

"Tell me Liv," he said looking at the pain reflected in her eyes.

"Elliot…."

"It's okay," he encouraged her, "I'm a good listener."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he said nodding his head slowly.

She laid quietly for a moment just staring into his eyes. Then her tears began to surface and she broke down. Elliot slipped his hand up and cupped it against the side of her face. He held it there for a moment then brought her head against his chest. A few minutes later Olivia realized she was curled into him once more and rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. She turned her head to look at him.

"She was one of my best friends Elliot. I just feel like I should have done more."

Elliot laid on his back on his side of the bed and turned his head to look back at her.

"What else could you have done Olivia?"

"I'm a cop," she gasped.

"Liv, the only reason we are alive today is because we hid. If those men had realized that we were in that house before they did, they would have killed us both. Then there would be no one who could identify the killers. And no justice for Kate and her family."

She blinked trying to register everything he was saying to her.

"I have never been more afraid in my life. I honestly thought we were going to die that night."

Elliot exhaled.

"So did I," he admitted squeezing her hand in his.

Olivia stared up at the ceiling for a few minutes and the room was quiet.

"Elliot?" She asked without looking at him.

"Yes, Liv?"

There was a pause for a moment then she drew a deep breath.

"What did you mean? Under the bed." She still refused to look at him.

"Olivia, you are my partner and best friend and my family and after that night a lover as well. You have been a constant in my life since we first met so many years ago. We have been through Hell and back together and you are the only stability in my life. The only one person I know will be behind me every time I turn around. I would do anything for you. And I don't ever want to find out what it is like to live my life with out you in it. When I told you that I love you, I meant it in every way that you can love someone. You are so much to me. One part best friend, one part sister, one part lover. I love you Olivia, but I am in love with you as well."

Olivia closed her eyes and turned her head in his direction. She opened her eyes and gazed into his as a tear rolled across the bridge of her nose and fell onto the pillow.

"I'm in love with you, too."

Elliot reached across the bed and closed the distance between their bodies by pulling her to him. He combed his fingers in her hair as he kissed her and held her tight in his arms. They kissed and touched softly for a few minutes before she settled against his chest with his arms tight around her. Elliot cupped his hand against her jaw and traced the curve of her face with his thumb.

"Do you know what I thought about?"

"What?"

"Under that bed, as I held you against me and prayed to God they would somehow overlook us."

"What did you think about?"

"I closed my eyes and I thought about memories of my kids. When they were born and learning to walk and ride a bike and drive a car. First steps and first words. And you. I thought about you, Liv. I thought about the day you walked into my life. How beautiful you were and I was so nervous around you I could barely speak, let alone walk and talk at the same time. I thought about the first time you smiled at me and the smell of your hair, the taste of your kiss and how amazing it felt making love to you to the sound of the summer rain tapping against the window. I felt your heart pounding wildly against my chest as I held you and I thought how I had no regrets about the night before. Then I thanked God for bringing you in to my life and giving me the chance to experience a love like yours. Because it was you, Olivia who taught me to love. Who showed me what real love was. And that was what I felt when I held you and saw when I looked into your eyes. After Kathy, I never thought I could feel love again. But this, with you is so much more than I have ever felt before. That is what I thought about."

Olivia smiled at him.

"What did you think about?" He asked.

"I didn't. I mean I tried not to. I was so afraid, Elliot. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the sound of your heartbeat. You are what got me through that night. You saved me, El. In more ways than one."

Elliot traced his thumb over her soft lips then kissed her passionately.

"And we are going to get through this Olivia," he said softly as he placed a tender kiss against her lips. "Together. A little at a time. I feel like I can survive anything with you by my side. And I'm here for you sweetheart, always. Anytime you need me."

Olivia stared into his eyes with so much love in hers. She took a deep breath and laid her head against his chest listening to the gentle and familiar thumping sound of his heart beat. This was the most soothing sound in the world to her.


	5. 5 The Man In The Moon

_Helpless_

_(Chapter Five: The Man In The Moon)_

Olivia stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around herself. She walked the twelve steps across the small bathroom to the medicine cabinet and dragged her hand through the steam on the mirror. She stared into her own dark eyes for a moment remembering the last time she had spoken to Kate.

They were sitting on the front porch swing the evening that the murders had taken place. Elliot had already gone up to his room for the night. Olivia after finding herself restless had gone down stairs for a glass of water and found Kate sitting at the counter with a mug of hot tea.

Olivia smiled at her across the dark kitchen. Kate sat an extra mug beside hers on the counter and poured a cup of the warm liquid for Olivia as well. Olivia picked up the mug from the counter and raised it to her mouth breathing in the soothing scent of the peppermint tea.

"It's good," Kate said with a warm smile. "Hot tea always helps me unwind after a long day." She stared across the counter at Olivia. "Let's go someplace we can talk."

Olivia followed her through the kitchen and out onto the front porch as they both took a seat on the porch swing.

"I love it out here. I used to sneak out her at night when I was a kid. Anytime I couldn't sleep or had a lot on my mind. I would sit on this old wooden swing and stare up at the stars. I'd talk to the man in the moon."

"The man in the moon?" Olivia raised an eyebrow at Kate in curiosity.

Kate smiled. "It was an old story my grandma used to tell me when I was little. Anytime you have troubles, anything that worries you, you tell the man in the moon and he makes it all better."

"Does that really work?" Olivia asked.

"No. But it makes me feel like someone is listening and that makes me feel better."

They both laughed as Olivia took another sip of her tea.

"So, do you want to tell me what is going on between you and Detective Stabler?" Kate gave Olivia an inquisitive stare.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, no. No, no, no. I know you better than that, Olivia Benson. You think after all of the years I have known you I wouldn't recognize that look?"

"What look?"

"That one, right there. That, I did something I wasn't supposed to and now I am afraid of getting caught look."

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"Liv, it's me. We used to tell each other everything."

"I tell you things."

"Olivia!" Kate leaned across the swing and stared Olivia down. "Are you going to sit here and tell me that you are not in love with this man? Not that I can blame you. He is perfect. And if I didn't already have Max, you might have a little competition."

Olivia laughed nervously. "Well, maybe I am in love with him a little."

"A little?"

Olivia looked at Kate with weary eyes.

"And nothing has happened between you two?" Kate inquired. She watched as a guilty look spread across Olivia's face. "Oh…something did happen? When?"

"Last night," Olivia confessed quietly.

"Oh my gosh," Kate squealed hitting Olivia's arm with the back of her hand. "I want details."

"Kate."

"Oh, come on Liv. You can't do this to me. It's torture."

Olivia closed her eyes then opened them to stare straight ahead.

"Was it good?" Kate asked eagerly.

"It was….incredible," Olivia whispered.

"How is he? He is so hot! And he has a great a…"

"Kate!"

"Sorry. Well?"

"He was perfect. He was sweet and amazing and romantic. And the way he looked at me and kissed me and whispered to me. The way he stared into my eyes every second while we were making love. And it was smooth and soft and gentle and rough and hard and he was everything I have ever wanted from a lover." Olivia sighed and combed her fingers through her hair and she stared at the pattern on Kate's pajama pants.

"If he is so amazing, then what is the problem?"

"The problem is I can't have him Kate. We are not supposed to be like this, he and I. We could both lose our jobs if anyone ever found out about what happened last night."

"I have seen you two. Last night at dinner. He couldn't keep his eyes off you in that dress. You were stunning, by the way. Infact I caught Max staring at you once or twice and had to set him straight." Kate smiled at Olivia. "I'm just saying, obviously there are feelings here. And they go both ways." There was a pause for a moment before Kate spoke again. "I still cannot believe you had sex with him last night and I am just now finding out about it! What, did you make like no noise?"

"Oh, I made noise. Of course I wasn't thinking about it until afterward, but I was afraid your parents would have heard us. Their bedroom is right below mine."

"Yeah well, you had the benefit of that storm last night. And my dad is almost deaf anyway, so my mother would be the only one you would have had to worry about."

"Do you think she knows?" Olivia asked.

"No. If she had heard anything, she would have said something to me about it by now." Kate shifted her eyes to meet Olivia's and smiled again. "So, I want details."

"I already told you."

"You hardly told me anything."

"I told you enough."

"Oh, come on. I tell you everything."

Olivia laughed. "You're right. You do."

"So?"

"So, what do you want to know?"

"First of all….what all did you guys do?"

"Just sex. But trust me, that was enough."

"Is he big?"

"Kate," Olivia laughed.

"Well?"

Olivia closed her eyes as she felt a the heat of embarrassment on her face.

"He's….he's good," she said softly.

"I knew he would be," Kate admitted.

"You are seriously deranged if you sit around thinking these thoughts about men you have just met."

"Just met, yes. But the way you talk about him on the phone all of the time it feels like I have known him for years."

Olivia smiled and Kate laughed.

"Okay, so he is umm….equipped. What is he like? Is he fast and all over the place? I hate that."

"No. He stared into my eyes almost the entire time. He is an amazing kisser. And he had his strong hands all over my body. But he was slow and smooth about it. Not over excited and grabby. His mouth only left mine for a few seconds at a time before it would return with his incredible kisses. The feel of his hands against my skin made me tremble. I had dreamed of how it would feel, his hands on me. And then all of a sudden it was real. There came a point where after kissing and touching and crossing the line we looked at each other and just knew what was going to happen. He unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them down, then pushed them into the floor. He kissed across my abdomen and made his way up to my tee shirt. He pulled it over my head and moved back up to kiss me and stare into my eyes."

"Oh," Kate almost whimpered.

"He was so sweet about the entire thing. I slid my fingers up under his shirt and over every muscle in his chest. I pulled his shirt off and tossed it away from the bed. I kissed his chest and reached to undo his belt buckle. I pushed his jeans down until they fell off the bed, while he kissed my neck and collarbone. I reached behind me and unhooked my bra and tossed it aside. He stared into my eyes as he pulled his boxers off. Then he kissed me, softly and tenderly. He stared into my eyes and asked me if I was sure. And for a moment it was like the entire world stopped spinning and we were the only two people in it. I closed my eyes and kissed him and the next thing I knew we were making love."

"I am so envious of you right now," Kate confessed.

"Of me? You are about to get married and spend the rest of your life with the man you love. I'm the one who should be envious."

"Well, yes. I love Max. And sex is good with him. But it's nothing like that. And it has been a while, so it is actually kind of hard to remember what it is like."

"You guys don't…"

"Not right now. Not until the wedding. Max got this idea in his head that we should wait. That would make the wedding night more magical."

"That is kind of sweet."

"Yeah, that's what I thought too, a month ago. Trust me, he had better be able to work some magic on our wedding night."

They both laughed.

"I'll let you in on a little secret," Kate said motioning for Olivia to move closer to her on the swing.

"Yeah," Olivia replied leaning in for the news.

"Max and I want to have a baby," Kate whispered softly.

Olivia smiled and looked at her. "You're pregnant?"

"No, not yet. But we want to start trying immediately."

"Kate that is great! This is so exciting!"

"Yeah well, keep your voice down. I don't want my mother to know. She is convinced we should be married for a few years before we decide to have kids. But I know I want them and I know I want them soon. The sooner, the better. You know, the next time you come to Seattle it is likely to be to meet your new godson or goddaughter."

Olivia smiled and laughed in excitement. "I am so happy for you Kate."

"Thank you," Kate said twisting strands of Olivia's hair into a braid. "So, now how are we going to fix your love life?"

Olivia exhaled heavily. "I don't know."

"You know what I think?"

"What do you think?"

Kate leaned down to whisper in Olivia's ear. "I think you should go for it."

Olivia smiled. "If only things were that simple."

"Honey, sometimes you have to reach out and take what you want in life. He is here Olivia. If he didn't care for you he would have never came this far from New York to meet your friend."

"My best friend and yes he would have. Elliot is also my best friend. He would do anything for me."

Kate smiled. "See."

"See what?"

"Open your eyes and see what is right in front of your face, Olivia. He has feelings for you. Guys don't do things like this for girls they are just friends with. And now that you have given him a taste of all of this…..do you honestly think he is just going to walk away? Do you honestly think that you can?"

"I don't know. But we have to. There is too much at risk. Besides, I already told him it was a mistake."

"Why on earth would you do that?"

"Because it was, Kate. If we ever did this…if we dated and it didn't work out and I lost him I would never forgive myself. He is the closest thing to family that I have. Except for you." Olivia sighed. "I can't lose him, Kate."

"Olivia, you are in love with this man. If you don't at least give this a shot, then you are losing him. You are losing man you have been in love with all of these years."

"I said I was a little bit in love with him. Not head over heels."

"Olivia, you never do anything a little bit. It is all or nothing with you. That is one of the things I love most about you. Besides, you are lying to yourself if you even believe that you are a little bit in love with this man."

"Why do you say that?"

"The way you sit here telling me about last night. They way you two made love. Olivia, you have never referred to it as making love with anyone. It was always having sex. How is this different?"

"I'm not sure, but it was. I have never had sex with someone that I cared about like this. I mean there were guys I dated, guys I thought I loved. But even that was different. Elliot and I have always been so close. Sometimes I wonder how I ever existed before him."

"That is love, honey."

Olivia looked at Kate and laughed a little as she wiped a tear from her eye. She knew that Kate was right. And Kate knew Olivia well enough to point out all of the signs. All of the obvious clues that had been right there the entire time staring Olivia in the face.

"Maybe I'm a little more in love with him than I thought."

"Maybe," Kate answered with a sly smile. "It's late. We should get to bed. My dad is going to be up at the crack of dawn and expect us all to go running with him. He wont take no for an answer."

"Hmm…now I know where you get it!"

Kate laughed and hugged Olivia. "Thank you so much for being here, Liv."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"You know, I have always been an only child. But if I ever did have a sister, I would want it to be you."

"Aww. My older sister," Olivia said with a smile.

"Watch it smart ass! I am only four months older than you!"

"Kate, I would be honored to call you my sister."

"Well, maybe not biologically. But in every other sense of the word. I love you, Olivia."

Olivia smiled and hugged Kate. "I love you too, Kate."

As they stood up from the swing they stared at their reflection in the glass of the window. Two women, Kate nearly three inches taller and ten or so pounds heavier than Olivia. One with dark hair and dark eyes and the other blonde headed with blue eyes. Different as night and day, yet somehow still the same. Olivia smiled at Kate's reflection in the glass and in moments their silence was broken with laughter.

They hugged once more then headed inside and off to bed. Kate to her fiancé asleep down the hall. And Olivia to that empty bed that held so many memories from the night before. She slipped her shoes off at the front door so she didn't make as much noise and tip toed up the stair case in the dark.

She glanced through the crack in the opened door of Elliot's room to see him sleeping across the bed by the light of the television. She smiled and sighed as she watched him for a moment. Then she turned and headed back to her room.

Olivia unbuttoned her jeans and folded them neatly placing them in the armchair. She pulled her tee shirt over her head and folded it laying it down the table beside the chair, then slipped into a satin night gown. She walked to the edge of the bed and stared at it, but couldn't bring herself to climb into it. Instead, she picked up her book from the nightstand and walked back to the armchair. She dropped the jeans into the floor beside the chair and sat down to read a few chapters until she was sure could fall asleep.


	6. 6 Never Alone

_Helpless_

_(Chapter Six: Never Alone)_

Olivia took a deep breath and tightened the towel around her as she opened the bathroom door and walked back down the hall toward the bedroom where Elliot still laid sleeping. She watched him for a moment then moved to her duffel bag in the bedroom floor. She pulled out a pair of blue jeans and a black tank top and slipped into them then pulled her damp hair back into a pony tail.

She zipped it up and tugged the strap of the duffel bag over her shoulder and headed for the front door. In the living room she searched the coffee tables and kitchen counter tops until she found her car keys, then turned to leave.

"You weren't even going to say good bye?"

She exhaled and turned to see Elliot standing behind her.

"I just have to go, El. It's time for me to go. I have a few things I have to take care of."

Elliot leaned against the kitchen counter and stared at her.

"You can't go back there, Olivia."

She shifted her eyes quickly to his for only a second before she stared at the ground. He could read her like a book.

"In case you have forgotten, we are not even allowed to leave the city until after this goes to trial." He watched her waiting for a response.

She exhaled loudly showing her frustration with him. It had always annoyed her that he was able to tell what she was about to do, before she had even done it. But she had this same power over him.

Without a word she turned and headed for the door.

"You're insane!"

"Elliot! Just back the Hell off!"

"You cannot seriously be considering this!"

"Look," she turned to glare at him and he watched her for a moment as she prepared her defense, "the funeral is in three days. I can't not be there. I'm not asking you to help me. I'm not even asking you to cover for me. I'm just asking you to stay the Hell out of my way and let me do what I need to do!" With that she grasped her car keys in her hand and stormed out the apartment door.

Olivia climbed into the drivers seat of her car and slammed the door shut behind her. She flipped down the visor and reached for her sunglasses. She looked into the mirror on the back of the visor and questioned the woman staring back. What the Hell was she thinking? She flipped the visor back up and took a deep breath to try and relax a little bit.

Just then the drivers side door swung open and she stared up speechless.

"You are completely crazy if you think for one moment that I am going to let you do this!"

She sat there breathing heavily for a moment trying to think of something to say as his blue eyes pierced hers. "Elliot, you can't stop me!"

"I know," he said leaning down to her, "but I'll be damned if I let you do this alone!"

Olivia stared at him shocked and confused.

"Scoot over," he demanded.

She raised her eyes to stare at his. She slid across the front seat and stared at him as he climbed into the car.

"If we're doing this, I'm driving." Elliot opened his hand in front of her. Olivia stared at him in shock then raised her palm and dropped her car keys into his hand. Elliot slipped the key into the ignition, but hesitated before he started the car. She stared at him nervously. "Seat belt," he said as he turned and looked at her. Olivia nodded and buckled her seat belt, then Elliot started the car and headed across town.

"Stubborn ass," she remarked from across the car as she shifted her eyes to him.

"I might be. But it just might be my stubborn ass that keeps your stubborn ass alive!"

Olivia smiled at him from the passengers seat. "I need to run by my apartment before we leave town. Were you not going to bring any clothes?"

Elliot shifted his eyes to the seat behind them. Olivia turned to see his duffel bag laying in the back floor board of the car. "I figured you might try something like this."

Olivia smiled at him and shook her head. "You know how much trouble you are getting yourself into if we get caught?"

"The way I see it my ass is had either way. If Casey finds out you left and I am still here, she is going to kill me. So I might as well tag along and make sure you don't get into any more trouble. Open the glove box."

Olivia reached down in front of her and opened the glove box of the car. Tucked inside was Elliot's off duty weapon.

"You really thought this through, didn't you?" She asked looking into his eyes.

"Someone had to. I knew you would be acting out of emotion." She shook her head again and turned to look out the window. "It is my job to make sure you are safe Olivia. That job doesn't stop just because we are off the clock. These guys may be after you. I didn't expect you to miss Kate's funeral without a fight. I know you better than that. Besides, I don't think you should have to miss it. But we have to be safe about this. You show up at that funeral, you might as well paint a target on your back. If these men recognize you, they will come after you. You don't leave my sight, you understand that?"

"Yes, sir."

"This isn't a game, Liv. These men have already killed four people that we know of. Not to mention the local police are not all that fond of us."

"It wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing if they did recognize me. I mean at least if they came after me we would know who they were!"

"No way!"

"Elliot, I can do this."

"There is no _this_, Olivia. We go there for the funeral. We show up, pay our respects and we are on our way back here. Immediately. That is it."

"Okay."

"I mean it."

Olivia nodded her head, trying not to smile at his best attempt to father her.

"No funny business!"

She shook her head cracking a small smile.

"Olivia," Elliot said fighting off a laugh himself.

She smiled and laughed and he couldn't help but join her. She took a deep breath and looked at him trying to regain control of herself. "I swear," she said softly.

Elliot slipped her fingers between hers and squeezed her hand for a moment as he smiled at her.

"Thank you," she mouthed across the car.

"You're welcome," he mouthed back as she smiled a shy smile and quickly turned to look out the window.

They stopped by her apartment so she could grab a dress for the funeral and a few more things. She opened the trunk of her car to put her things inside and smiled as she looked down onto his nicest black suite. He really had thought of everything. Sometimes he knew her better than she knew herself.

She picked up the suit by the hanger and placed her bag inside, then closed the trunk. She moved around to open the back door of the sedan and hung his suit next to her dress on the garment hanger.

"Are we ready?" He asked her as he approached the car. "I still need to stop for gas and I want to get a map."

Elliot opened the car door to see an atlas laying in the passengers seat. He looked up at her over the top of the car.

"What? If you're driving, I get to navigate. Besides, I know you don't trust my GPS."

Elliot smiled at her then climbed in the car and closed the door. Within a couple of hours they were miles outside the city and she was asleep with her head leaned against the window and his jacket covering her shoulders.

Elliot grinned and brushed some dark hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear. The early morning sunlight beaming through the car window danced off her hair igniting the gold and copper strands that were normally hidden under dark layers of brunette. He tucked the jacket in around her, then focused his attention back to the road ahead of him.

The trip from Manhattan to Seattle was nearly three thousand miles and a forty three hour drive, according to the GPS mounted on the dashboard of Olivia's car. It would take them just over two days to get there and by the time they stopped to sleep and shower and refuel the car, that would put them arriving just a few hours before the services began. This was not Elliot's preferred means of travel on long distance trips. But to fly would leave a trail and make them easier to locate and bring back. Driving bought them a little more time. So far they had succeeded in slipping away unnoticed. The longer it took Casey and Cragen to realize that they were gone, the better their chances were of getting away with it.

Elliot knew he was hanging himself by going along with her. But he would never allow Olivia to do something this dangerous alone. The truth was he knew she would go, with or without him. He knew that she could really use his friendship to help her through this tough time in her life. Liv was a lot safer with him there by her side than she would have been alone.

Besides, he had seen these men and was sure he could recognize them if he saw them again. If they came anywhere near Olivia, he would be there to protect her. He liked those odds a lot better than if she had gone back alone.


	7. 7 Facing The Fear

_Helpless_

_(Chapter Seven: Facing the Fear)_

Olivia sat with her ankles crossed neatly. Her black dress looked so elegant for a funeral and each strand of her hair tucked perfectly into place. She didn't speak or make a sound during the service. But Elliot watched her closely as tears streamed from under her dark sunglasses and her body trembled occasionally, overflowing with emotion. He knew she had to have been in immense pain, a pain he himself could only imagine.

Elliot had lost people close to him in his life. He had experienced death. But Kate was her best friend. Kate, was her Olivia. Elliot could not even begin to think of how deeply he would be hurt if her ever lost her. How much pain he would be in if he ever found himself sitting in a cold metal folding chair at Olivia's funeral. That pain, he knew, would be so great that he wondered if he would even survive it. The only thing that could possibly be as bad or worse than losing Olivia, would be experiencing the loss of one of his children. Neither an experience he ever wanted to face.

She drew a staggered breath and though he could not actually see her eyes through her sunglasses, he could tell she stared straight ahead. Elliot felt horrible for her. He had no idea what to do or say to ease her pain. So he said nothing. Instead he reached over and slipped his hand into hers, lacing their fingers tightly together and squeezed it gently.

Olivia raised her head a little and tipped it in his direction. He could feel her eyes staring into his, but he couldn't see them. He longed to hold her tight in his arms and promise her that everything was going to be alright. But the truth was, he wasn't so sure it was. It didn't appear as if anything had changed in the little bit of time since they had left this town. Newspapers still ran stories of the horrible crime, leading with headlines about police having no clue who committed. Worse was the fact that their local Sheriff's Department still considered Olivia a suspect to the crime.

When the service had finished, Elliot walked beside Olivia as she laid roses on the tops of each of the caskets. They turned and with out a word walked toward the car. Just as Elliot reached to open the door for her he heard a familiar voice behind them.

"Excuse me folks," the man called to them.

Elliot turned around first as Olivia raised her glasses to rest atop her head and looked over her shoulder.

"Great," Elliot mumbled.

"Ahh, I thought I recognized the two of you. I'm gonna need you to come with me," the sheriff said pulling the car keys from Elliot's hand and tossing them to his deputy. He sheriff escorted the two of them to his squad car and opened the door to the back seat. "You're not armed are you?"

"No," Elliot replied. "My off duty weapon and our badges are in the glove compartment of the car."

The sheriff nodded and motioned for them to get into the back seat of his car.

"You aren't seriously going to arrest us?" Olivia asked.

"Ma'am, please just get into the car and don't give me any trouble."

Olivia stood stubborn for a moment in disbelief, then gave in and climbed into the car.

"Sir?" The sheriff said looking at Elliot.

"This is ridiculous. We have not done anything wrong."

The sheriff closed the car door and they watched from the back seat as the deputy pulled away in Olivia's car.

"He's just going to take it back to the station. I trust it isn't stolen?"

"No, it's my car," Olivia scoffed.

"Why exactly are you taking us in?" Elliot asked. "You have not even read us our rights."

"Oh, well you are not under arrest. Not yet anyway. I just have a few questions for you folks. We can start with why exactly the two of you are here?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Elliot asked. "We were friends of the family. We were there to pay our last respects."

"Even after you were told to stay away?"

They both ignored the question.

"Do you have any leads in the case sheriff?" Olivia asked.

"Now ma'am, you know I couldn't share that information with you."

"So you don't. You could tell me if you did. You just cannot give me details or tell me who it is."

Before long the sheriff had driven past the turn off to town.

"Where are you taking us?" Elliot asked.

"I need a little help understanding exactly what went on that night," he replied pulling into the driveway of the large house that still held the horror of that night.

Olivia stared out the window as the sheriff opened the door to let them out of the car.

"I want the two of you to walk through with me and explain to me how the events took place."

"I don't think I can go back in there," Olivia said quietly.

"Everything has been cleaned up. It would really help our investigation."

"I don't think so," Elliot said putting his hand on Olivia's shoulder and turning her into his chest. "You accuse her of having something to do with the murders and now you want us to walk through where those people died and do your work for you? Arrest us if you are going to, otherwise leave us the hell alone."

"They have dropped the charges against her. It was all a mistake and we know that. But at the time we had no evidence to prove otherwise. Since that night we have had stolen items appear in pawn shops in the area. We believe these men were local. Or from somewhere not too far from here. We are still unsure as to what their motive may have been. But we're looking into some business transactions that Kate's father was involved in over the last few years. It seems he was involved in some business deals that may have gone bad. Actually, he was being investigated for skimming about five hundred thousand dollars from the company. That was last year alone."

"So it could have been some kind of inside job?"

"We don't know just yet. But it really would help a lot if the two of you could do this for me."

Elliot looked at Olivia, who appeared almost in shock again. She stood quietly and didn't speak a word.

"Why don't you wait here and I will walk him through the house? Then we can head back and pick up the car and go back home."

Olivia just stared at him. Elliot walked around to the door with the sheriff as Olivia watched them walk up onto the porch. She wasn't so sure about going back into the house again, but she wasn't exactly comfortable standing alone out here waiting for them either.

"Elliot, wait." She walked up the steps as Elliot held the screen door for her.

The house was cold and the smell of blood was thick in the air. Elliot reached for Olivia's hand and held it tight as they entered through the kitchen. They walked around the counter and Olivia stared down at the blood stained tile where Kate's body had been found nearly a week earlier. The tape they had used to mark around the body was still on the floor and Olivia felt the tears rising in her eyes.

"Come on. Let, go upstairs. So we can get this over with," Elliot said leading her onward.

They climbed the stairs and stood in the hallway.

"I slept in this room and she had the room at the end of the hall," Elliot began. "I fell asleep laying across the top of the bed watching television. I woke up several hours later when I heard a struggle downstairs. I walked quietly down the hall and down the staircase until I," Elliot paused a moment to look into Olivia's eyes. "I saw them kill Max. Kate's mother was already dead and they were beating on her father. I turned and came back upstairs to get to Olivia."

He walked down the hall toward the room where Olivia had slept.

"She was asleep in this chair when I came in. I was afraid she would scream and I could hear them coming up the steps. I grabbed her and put my hand over her mouth and dragged her into the closet to hide. The men, at least two of them came upstairs and were moving around. They came in here and looked around. One man opened the closet and turned the light on, I am not sure how he didn't see us. When they had gone back downstairs, we crawled out and tried to get to the phone. But they must have cut the line outside, there was no dial tone. They came back upstairs and we hid under the bed. This time they had Kate's father with them. They trashed the closed and made him open the safe for them. Then they shot him. He fell there on the carpet and died. We hid under the bed for what seemed like hours while they cleaned out the safe. After a while I heard their car start and we climbed out and went downstairs. We went out through the kitchen and we found Kate's body there. Olivia knelt beside her to check for a pulse."

"That was when you got her blood on you?" The sheriff asked.

"She was still warm," Olivia said softly.

They walked back down the staircase and out into the drive way.

"We got about here when they pulled back into the drive way. I hid behind that small shed and she was on the side of the house. They had realized when they looked in Olivia's wallet that she was not the woman they had killed and come back for her. They were talking about it when they went back in the house to look for her. When they did, Olivia went over to their truck to see if she could find a cell phone or their keys, but there was nothing. Then we saw a light down that hill in the dark. We climbed over the fence and went down the hill. We walked across the field and I broke into that office to try and call for help."

"Have you ever seen either of these men before that night?"

"No."

They both looked at Olivia who shook her head.

"No, I haven't. And I have not seen them since."

"Well," the sheriff said opening the door to his car, "I appreciate all of the help. We are hoping to piece this all together soon and find the men responsible."

The sheriff drove them back into town and released them. By this time it was so late in the evening that Elliot and Olivia decided to spend the night there and leave out early the next morning.


	8. 8 Hidden Desires

_Helpless_

_(Chapter Eight: Hidden Desires)_

Elliot parked the car as they walked in to the front desk to get their rooms. Olivia stood looking at the newspaper stand with the coverage of the murders and the funerals as they waited behind another customer. The little town was actually about a half hour drive outside of Seattle and only had one motel.

"We need two rooms for the night, please. Nonsmoking if you have them," Elliot said as he tapped his credit card on the desk in front of him.

"Actually, I don't sir."

"Oh umm, smoking is alright then. I guess."

"No, sir. I mean I don't have two rooms available. The mayor's daughter is getting married this weekend and between that and the funerals," the woman pointed to the newspaper stand. "I have one room left. It's your's if you want it."

"A double?"

"Single, king. But it is nonsmoking."

Elliot turned to look at Olivia. She looked exhausted and it had been a very long and traumatic day for her.

"You wanna just head on into Seattle?" Elliot looked at his watch. "We could be there by ten o'clock their time. Of course, that is one o'clock our time."

"I don't care. It's up to you. I'm just tired and really need a shower. At this point I could probably sleep in the car."

"Do you have a Seattle phone book?" Elliot asked the girl. "I can call ahead and make a reservation so we know we have rooms when we get there."

"You know what, El? This is fine. We are only going to be here for a couple of hours anyway. We're leaving early in the morning. Let's just get some rest."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, this is fine." Olivia picked up the card key in her hand.

"We'll take it. Can we get an extra blanket and some towels?"

"Sure. Here's your receipt and I need you to sign right here." The girl walked in to the back and brought out a blanket, a stack of towels and some little body wash and shampoo bottles. "Your room is on the second floor half way down, by the ice machine."

"Thank you," Olivia replied with a smile. That was the first time he had seen her smile all day.

Elliot pulled the car around by the stairs and parked. He grabbed their bags from the trunk as Olivia carried the blanket and towels the desk clerk had given them. She climbed the stairs and opened the door to the room.

"It is actually a lot better than I expected," Elliot replied closing the door behind them.

"At least it's clean."

"Well, it isn't the Four Season's. But it isn't exactly the Bates Motel, either." He sat their bags down and looked around the room. "I'm starving. Are you hungry? We have not eaten anything all day."

"I'm fine," she said softly digging through her bag for clothes to sleep in.

Elliot pulled the phone book from the nightstand and began to flip through it.

"There's a pizza place. You feel like pizza?"

"I'm not really hungry."

"Liv, you should eat something. Not pizza. Here is a diner. The address is just down the street. I could call in an order and go pick it up while you take a shower."

Olivia nodded her head slowly. She knew he wasn't going to give up until he actually saw her eat something.

"You want a burger and fries?" Elliot asked as he dialed the number and placed the phone to his ear. "Yes, I need to place a carry out order. Do you have any specials?"

Elliot listened to the girl speak for a few minutes as he watched Olivia move around the room.

"They have a grilled chicken sandwich, Liv."

"Umm, just a salad. Fat free ranch dressing on the side, no onion and a iced tea if they have it."

Elliot repeated Olivia's order to the girl on the phone and added his burger and fries and chocolate milk shake.

"It will be ready in about fifteen minutes," Elliot said hanging up the phone. "I think I'm gonna go ahead and go. I'll gas up the car tonight so we are ready to head out in the morning. Do you want anything else?"

"No, I'm good."

"Hey," he said smiling at her from across the room, "you okay?"

"Just tired."

"It's been a rough day. I'm sorry that sheriff made us go through the house again. I'm sure you could have done without that."

"He's just trying to catch the guys who did it Elliot."

"I know, but it is still kind of tough to see."

"I'll be fine. I just need a hot shower and a good night's sleep."

"Yeah," Elliot said staring into her eyes. "I'm gonna run pick up the food. I'll be back in a little bit." Elliot smoothed his hand over her shoulder and headed out the door.

Olivia took a hot shower and felt a little better. She slipped on a tee shirt and a pair of pajama pants and walked out to sit on the bed. Moments later Elliot returned with their food. After about four bites of salad, Olivia threw the container away and went to brush her teeth. Elliot was starting to worry. She had been so quiet all day and now she wasn't eating either. He knew she was probably just upset over the funeral and she had every right to be. But it still worried him to see her like this.

Elliot tossed the extra blanket and a pillow from the bed into the chair in the corner of the room and pulled the foot stool closer. "You can have the bed," he said as she walked back in from the bathroom to put away her tooth brush. "I'll just crash in the chair."

"Elliot, that's ridiculous. We're both adults. It's a king sized bed, I am sure we will be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure. If you sleep in that chair your neck and back are all sore and cramped up. We have a three thousand mile car trip ahead of us. Just, get in the bed." She pulled the blankets back and slid aside.

Elliot laughed and tossed his pillow back on the bed. He climbed into the bed and settled into his pillow then turned out the light.

"Goodnight, Liv."

"Goodnight," she said with a yawn.

Sometime in the early hours of morning he heard he whimper and opened his eyes. Olivia had moved in against his body and curled into him. She made another noise and Elliot felt her jerk against him.

"Olivia," he said softly gliding his hand slowly down her arm. She mumbled something he couldn't make out. "Liv, wake up."

Her eyes fluttered open to stare into his and he could see tears rising in them.

"It's okay. You were having a bad dream. But you're safe here."

She blinked for a moment and stared at him.

"Elliot," she gasped trying to catch her breath.

Elliot placed his hand gently on the side of her face.

"I'm right here, Liv. It's okay now."

He raised up his arm and she moved in to rest her head against his chest. Elliot wrapped her in his arms and kissed the top of her head. He pulled the blankets in around her and combed his fingers through her hair.

"I just can't believe she is really gone," Olivia said softly. "You read about things like this or see them in horror films. They don't happen to people you know," she whispered softly. "I keep seeing her face. Her laying there in the kitchen floor, covered in blood. I still hear her cries and hear her scream sometimes in my dreams. I hid," she sobbed. "Kate was downstairs being murdered and I was hiding in the closet."

"We didn't have a choice, Liv. We were unarmed. If we had tried to stop them, they would have killed us, too."

"I know. But I still feel so guilty. Like I let her down. She must have been so afraid. They were supposed to be married in two days. And Kate told me they wanted to start trying for a baby right away. They had so much life ahead of them. And now it's just gone."

"Do you believe what that sheriff said about her father's stealing money from the company?"

"I don't know. I have known her family for a while and they seemed like honest people.

"If he had been stealing money from his company all of these years and they found out about it, that would give good motive."

"For him, maybe. But the entire family?"

"I don't know. That does seem a little much. They killed the family in front of him. His wife and daughter and future son in law. They made him watch as each of them was murdered. That sounds a personal. Like a vendetta. Not about a robbing the safe for a few jewels and bonds. I mean think about it. We had all been gone from the house all day. If it were a robbery, why not go in while everyone was gone. No witnesses, much cleaner. And look at the house. Thousands of dollars in art work and antiques. Kate and her mother both had jewelry that wasn't locked up. Those thieves would have gotten a lot more if they had hit the house during the day while everyone was away. Unless it wasn't about robbery."

"You think they went there with the intention of murdering the family?"

"Or maybe they really were looking for something in particular. Something of great value. Something they thought would be locked up in that safe. They made him unlock it. Then they shot him immediately. By then it was too late to ask him where it was hidden, whatever it was, because they had already killed him. So they took the stuff from the safe to stage a robbery."

"That makes sense. But what do you think they were looking for?"

"I have no idea."

Olivia yawned again.

"We should try to get some sleep. Liv, what would you say to sticking around another day. Just to check a few things out."

"You want to try to work this case?"

"It just seems like these deputies cant find their asses with both hands. As long as we stay out of their way and don't step on any toes, they wont even notice we're here."

"You know that by now Cragen and Casey have probably figured out that we're gone. They are liable to have both our jobs when we get back."

"For what? Going to a friend's funeral?"

Olivia smiled.

"You really are asking for trouble."

"I just want this case to be closed. I don't want their murders to go unpunished. I want to make sure that Kate and her family get justice."

"Thank you, Elliot."

"For what, sweetheart?"

"For being here. For understanding. For helping me out. Sometimes we think so much alike it is creepy. I have been laying here trying to think of a way to tell you that I wanted to stick around and look into the case. Now here you are asking me if I would mind."

"Great minds, I guess."

Olivia smiled.

"I have missed that."

"What?"

"Your smile," he said brushing a few strands of hair from her eyes. "You haven't smiled much lately. I guess you haven't had much reason to."

"I have just had so much on my mind. With everything that is going on…"

"It has been a very tough time for you lately."

"But it helps having you here."

"Olivia, I would do anything for you."

"I know," she whispered. She exhaled softly and stared into his eyes.

"And I don't think that night was a mistake."

Olivia just stared at him.

"I have feelings for you. Very deep and very real feelings. I'm not going to pretend that we weren't moving a little too fast. But I don't for a second regret making love to you that night. I'm crazy about you, Liv. I have been for as long as I can remember."

"Elliot, I just don't think that this is a good time. Not with everything that is going on now. I need my friend."

"Honey, do you think that if we have a romantic relationship I can't be here for you as a friend, too?"

"It just complicates things, Elliot."

"Not if we don't let it."

He smoothed his thumb over her jaw line and stared into her eyes. Elliot longed to kiss her, to love her the way had did that night. But not until she allowed him to.

"El," she whispered raising up a little in the bed.

"Olivia," he said softly his mouth hovering just above hers.

Their faces were so close their noses brushed gently against each other. Then it happened. Olivia leaned forward just enough for their mouths to touch only for a second. Elliot shifted so that she was laying across his chest then leaned in and placed a soft kiss against her lips. Olivia deepened the kiss as she slid her tongue into his mouth.

They moved slowly and confidently. Touching and kissing and caressing until their clothes were piled in the floor beside the bed. She laid naked wrapped up in his arms and they were about to make love once more.

Olivia placed her head against his bare chest and listened to the sound of his heart beat. Elliot closed his arms around her and just held her for a minute.

"We don't have to go any further," he said kissing her forehead. "We could just spend the night like this. I could just hold you and wake up in the morning with you in my arms. Take things slow this time. I don't want you to regret it, Olivia."

She raised her head and stared into his eyes. "I don't," she said softly as she leaned in and kissed him again. "I thought I did. But I was wrong. I was afraid and I panicked. I'm not afraid anymore. Ignoring this, whatever it is between us, doesn't make it go away. I love you, Elliot."

"I love you too, baby. And after seeing how quickly things can be over. After almost losing you…Olivia do you realize how lucky we are?"

"Yeah. I do."

"I don't want to hold back anymore. I want a relationship with you. You and I, no more excuses."

Olivia nodded her head.

"Okay," she agreed. "Elliot," she said kissing him tenderly.

"Yes, Liv."

"Make love to me," she mumbled against his mouth with a shy smile.

Elliot rolled her over and laid her body against the bed as he stared into her eyes. He kissed up under her neck and smoothed his hand up her thigh. Olivia moaned softly at his touch. He kissed a trail of baby kisses across her collar bone and moved down until he disappeared under the blanket.

"Elliot," she said as she moved her knees together and raised the blanket to look at him. "Not like that. Not now."

"Okay," he said softly as he began to kiss a trail back up her body and around the curve of her breast until finally he had made his way back to her mouth.

"I just…I just want it slow," she moaned as he kissed her.

Elliot stopped for a minute to look into her eyes.

"Like it was before," she whispered.

Elliot nodded and lowered his body one hers. He kissed her neck and mouth tenderly until she began to moan. "Just tell me when you're ready," he breathed against her ear.

Olivia moaned softly and laughed. "I'm ready," she said as their eyes met and she smiled.

Elliot shifted in the bed as raised her knee and she felt him enter her body. Olivia moaned softly as he began to move inside her. She wrapped one arm around his neck and used her other hand to caress up and down his back. She closed her eyes for a moment to focus on his touch and the way he felt inside her. She smiled and moaned a little as she listened to the moaning sounds he made.

Elliot stared deep into her eyes and kissed her tenderly. They made love for well over an hour and he held her as he brought her through several small orgasms. He shifted in the bed again and stared into her eyes as he began to move a little faster and harder inside her. He tipped her head back and kissed under her chin as she clawed up his back and he could tell she was ready.

Olivia's moans seemed to draw longer and closer together.

"Look at me baby," Elliot whispered as she opened her eyes. He brushed his nose against hers and combed his fingers through her hair. Elliot kissed her passionately and traced her jaw line with his fingertips as they finished together.

Elliot rolled over on his back in the bed and reached to pull her in next to him. Olivia kissed his chest as she traced the muscles there with her fingertip. Kissed him tenderly then laid her head gently against his chest. Elliot pulled the blankets up around them as he closed his arms tight around her and kissed the top of her head.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

She tipped her head back to look up at him. "I am so glad that you decided to come back here with me."

"Yeah, me too."

Olivia laughed. "I don't mean because of this. I mean because I don't know how I could have gone through any of this without you.

"There was no way I would have let you come back here and go through all of this on your own."

He hugged her tight and kissed her lips.

"Try to get some rest, honey. Tomorrow we'll see if we can find any leads."

"Okay," she whispered softly with a yawn as she nestled in against him for the night.


	9. 9 Wild Card

_**Helpless**_

_**(Chapter Nine: Wild Card)**_

**Olivia sat on the edge of the hotel bed dressed only in her panties and Elliot's dress shirt. She riffled through her duffel bag to find something to wear as he showered in the next room. She dressed quickly and walked across the parking lot to get them some coffee.**

"**Hey," she said with a smile as she stepped back into the hotel room to find Elliot fully dressed laying across the bed watching the morning news.**

"**I was wondering where you had gone. I was starting to worry."**

"**I went to get some breakfast." She sat down a plastic bag with two take out containers on the desk by the door and handed him a large cup of coffee. She opened the bag and handed hit a white Styrofoam container. "Two eggs over easy, sausage and bacon, toast, hash browns and coffee."**

"**You are amazing. What have you got?" Elliot asked wanting to make sure she actually ate something.**

"**Ham and cheese omelet, egg whites only. And fat free mocha cappuccino. I'm going to eat El, you can stop worrying about me."**

"**I will never stop worrying about you," he said with a smile as he kissed her. "I have spent eleven years looking out for you. I don't expect that to change any time soon."**

**Olivia smiled at him over the rim of her coffee cup. "I'm used to it. I like you being there."**

"**Good. Because I'm not going anywhere any time soon," he said tracing his thumb over her lips before bringing his mouth to meet them.**

"**I was thinking, while you were in the shower. I made a list of people we should talk to. If this was someone he worked with, I'm guessing they knew Kate and Max."**

"**Why do you say that?"**

"**Because, her father had big dinners at the house all of the time. Kate was his pride and joy. He liked to show her off and with the wedding coming up…. Kate told me that her father had a long list of business contacts that he invited to her wedding. She made a comment about having over four hundred guests and she and Max didn't know half of them."**

"**Wow."**

"**Yeah. He liked to show them off. She and Max."**

"**Show all his business associates his picture perfect family."**

"**So when he rips them off and they are looking to hit him where it hurts the most."**

"**Take out the wife and kids right in front of him. I guess they figured that would make him talk. But what was it that they wanted?"**

"**Had to be more valuable than all of the jewelry and expensive art work that they left behind."**

"**So he works with what? Big business transactions, large amounts of cash. What if he was stealing from the company? That would give them motive to go after him for a revenge killing, but not the family."**

"**What if he wasn't the one stealing it?"**

"**What do you mean?"**

"**I mean what if he found out who was? Maybe he had some sort of evidence against someone else. They send someone in to shake him down and find out where he is hiding it, whatever **_**it **_**is. The intruders tell him that if he doesn't give them what they want, they will kill his family. They chose this particular weekend because they knew Kate and Max would be here for the wedding. But they didn't count on us being here."**

"**I think we should go and talk to the people around his office. Try and sneak a peak at some financial records. But we are going to have to be careful, Liv."**

"**Elliot, after talking to that sheriff yesterday I don't think we will have any problems from them as long as we stay out of their way."**

"**Olivia that sheriff is the least of our problems. If this was an inside job from and someone he worked with hired men to kill him and his family. They are going to know we were in that house the moment we go asking questions. We'll stick out like a sore thumb. Why would Manhattan detectives be investigating a Seattle murder case? We need a wild card."**

"**What?"**

"**You know, a more than obvious clue that gives us a little more versatility in this case. A way to get in and out without being detected. I know we are on to something. I feel it. Like it is right in front of us and I just can't see it."**

"**What if we weren't investigating the murders?" She asked as he looked at her confused. "What if we were investigating him for embezzlement from the company he used to work for back in New York?"**

"**I didn't know he ever worked in New York."**

"**He didn't. But they don't know that either."**

"**So we heard about his death and came here to try and get a few answers for the case we are working against him. Okay."**

"**But it's a one shot deal."**

"**What do you mean?"**

"**I mean, we get in and get out. Get what we can in one visit. By the time they are able to confirm that we are not who we said we were we will be half way back to Manhattan. We have to make this quick. If they catch us and realize that we are witnesses in the case, they will kill us."**

"**You finish eating. I'm gonna make a few calls and see if we can't get an appointment to get in and talk to a couple of the big shots at his company."**

"**Okay."**

**TWO HOURS LATER**

Elliot and Olivia walked into the tall building and took the elevator up to the sixth floor where Kate's father used to work. They spoke to a few of his coworkers and were only able to gather fragments of information from them.

The man was a big shot in this company, who made a lot of money and spent a lot of money. He and his wife get new cars every year and always hosted large parties for their friends and coworkers. They spoke to his former secretary who refused to let them into his office to look around.

As Elliot turned on his Stabler charm and spoke with the woman, Olivia excused herself to the ladies room. She headed down the main hall, but instead of turning right to go to the rest room, she hung a left and let herself into the unlocked office.

She attempted to sneak a peek at the files in the file cabinets, but they were both locked up tight. What she did find odd though was the face that he had been dead for a while and was now buried and his computer in his office was turned on.

She bumped the mouse and watched as the screensaver faded away to show a list of charities the companies made donations to. Each of them with an account number and the amount of money that had been donated. She moved the mouse up and hit the button to print out a copy of the document.

Olivia opened the drawers of the desk searching for anything that seemed unusual. She stood up and paced the office floor, there was something here, she could feel it. Just then she saw someone through the blinds as they walked toward the office. She ducked under the desk and curled her knees to her chest just as the office door opened.

"I could swear I heard someone in here," she heard a man's voice say.

Olivia watched his shoes from under the desk as he turned and walked back out of the office closing the door behind him. "Shit," she mumbled remembering the page she had printed out as she peered over the top of the desk to see if the coast was clear. But the man was standing just outside the window talking to someone on his cell phone. She ducked back into her hiding place.

She sat there quietly for a moment remembering that night she had hid inside the closet like this. She closed her eyes and pressed her lips together and tried to remind herself to breathe.

When she opened her eyes and raised her head she noticed something strange. Ahead of her, taped to the underside of the desk was a flash drive. Olivia squinted for a moment to focus her eyes on it. Why the hell would he hide it under his desk. She leaned forward and pulled it off the desk and slipped it into her pocket.

She raised up once more to see that the hallway was now clear. She climbed from her hiding place as she folded up the print out and slipped it into her pocket as well. Olivia walked back out to the front desk where Elliot still stood talking with the secretary.

"Thank you for your help," Elliot said with a smile as he saw Olivia.

They turned and made their way to the car.

"Lets get the hell out of here," she said as they headed across the parking lot. "And fast, I almost got caught and I am not so sure they didn't notice I was in there."

"Did you get anything?"

"I got something."

Elliot nodded and opened the car door for her. They headed back to the hotel where they put the flash drive into Elliot's lap top to see what was on it. It was a list of names. Each with an address and social security number. Under each name was a bank account number and a dollar amount.

"What the Hell?" Olivia said raising her fingertip to point at the screen.

"It's contact information. He was helping to take them down."

"I'm talking about this," she said pointing to a name that was all to familiar to them both.

"Contact information for the F.B.I., the feds were in on this?"

"F.B.I. Agent Dean Porter," she read off the screen as she turned to look at Elliot.

"I think maybe we are in over our heads," he said staring at her.

Olivia exhaled and picked up her phone.

"Liv, what are you doing?"

"Calling an old friend," she replied staring into his eyes.


	10. 10 Control

_Helpless_

_(Chapter Ten: Control)_

It was pouring rain as Elliot sat across from Olivia at a booth in the back of a small café. They were waiting for answers and only one man could give them. Olivia raised her coffee cup to her mouth as she watched the door for the familiar face of a man she hadn't seen in almost three years. Elliot however stared at his watch nervously.

"He isn't gonna show."

"He'll be here. He told me he would be here and he will."

"He is already fifteen minutes late."

"He will be here. Relax."

"I don't like this."

"Don't like what, Elliot? We need answers and he can give them to us. Or at least point us in the right direction."

He stared at her with a clear look of frustration.

"You don't like it, because it is Porter."

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to. The look on your face said it for you."

He would never admit it, but she was right. It could have been any other man in the world and it would not have bothered him as much as Dean Porter walking back into her life. In Elliot's mind Dean Porter was the one who had kept Olivia away from him all of that time she was in Oregon. Sure is was Star who had convinced her to go to Oregon in the first place, but it was Porter who kept her there all of those months when she should have been back in New York with Elliot where she belonged.

"I don't like the guy," he scoffed.

"You don't have to. You just have to sit here and hold a civilized conversation with him over a cup of coffee long enough for us to get the information we need." She stared at Elliot as he curled the corner of his paper placemat in his fingers, obviously nervous about their meeting with Porter. "Nothing happened," she said as she leaned back in the booth and folded her arms in front of her.

"What?"

"Between he and I. Nothing happened."

"I didn't ask about that."

"And you never would, I know that. But I know you, El. That is what you are wondering and have been wondering since I cam back from Portland."

He raised his eye to stare into hers.

"I didn't tell you before because it never came up. And it wasn't really any of your business. But we are together now, so you have a right to know. Nothing happened."

"All of those phone calls when you first came back…"

She smiled. "We were friends. He wanted more. I didn't."

"You shot him down?"

"It wasn't really like that. He never really came out and said that he wanted to…. He just sort of hinted around. We would be talking and he would sort of stare at me and lean into me, like he was going to kiss me. I turned away from him. Not making it obvious I was shooting him down, just trying to show him I was there for business. And when that business had finished, I came back home."

"What did you talk about?"

"Besides the case? You, mostly."

"Me?"

"Yes. Apparently I drove him crazy. He used to ask me if my partner back in New York thought I was as big a pain in the ass as he did."

"What did you tell him?"

"That we were best friends. And we had worked together for many years. And if I was that big of a hassle, I would be glad to go home and he could deal with the hippie tree huggers himself."

"Good girl."

Olivia smiled. "Speak of the devil." She shifted her eyes to look behind Elliot and watch as Porter walked over to their table.

"Olivia," he said leaning to hug her as she stood.

Elliot stood with his coffee cup in hand to shake hands with him.

"You must be the infamous Elliot Stabler."

"I am." Elliot quickly slid into the booth next to Olivia, preventing Porter from sitting next to her.

"Olivia talked about you a lot when she was in Portland."

"Yeah well, we are very close."

"She said you were best friends."

"Oh, we are. But our relationship is a lot more than just a friendship," he said staring Agent Porter down.

"So," Olivia said clearing her throat, "can you tell us why the F.B.I. was investigating the victim?"

"Olivia, you know I can't give you details on an open investigation. Especially considering the fact that the two of you are way out of your district and have no claim to the case."

"No, we don't have claim to it. But we are kind of doing our own investigation and your name came up."

"How?"

"No, no. You first. Why are the feds involved?"

"We busted him on the embezzlement, but he isn't the one we want. We worked a deal, he was helping us gather evidence on the big shots behind the scam. Someone on the inside must have found out he was working with us and killed him to shut him up. Your turn. What are you doing this far from home? I know you are not in with us on this one."

"No. I knew Kate. We were roommates in college. Elliot and I were here for the wedding."

"Then after the murders you decided to come up here and try to work the case? You working with the locals?"

"Not exactly. We are kind of doing our own thing."

"That is illegal."

"Of course if we find any incriminating evidence we are going to turn it over to the sheriff and his team."

"Then why exactly did I get a phone call from you and not them?"

"Because, I found this." Olivia placed the flash drive on the table in front of her.

"What is on it?"

"Files. Containing enough evidence, contact information and bank account numbers, to put the entire group of thieves in prison for twenty five to thirty years."

"So why haven't you turned it over?"

"Because we want them for the murders."

"Why do you care? I mean I know she was your friend. But why don't you hand that over to me and step back and let the locals take care of the rest?"

"Because they have no idea what they are dealing with. They have never had a case like this." She exhaled and looked away from him for a moment. When her eyes met Porter's again they were full of tears. "Because we saw what those men did to them, to all of them. And I want justice."

"You saw the bodies?"

"Yes," she said softly. "We were there."

"You walked through the crime scene?"

"No. We were there when they were murdered."

"My God, Olivia." He reached across the table for her hand as her tears began to fall. But Olivia pulled away from him.

"I was supposed to be her maid of honor. Elliot and I cam in for the wedding and we were guests at the house. The night it all went down, he woke up to the sounds of the struggle downstairs. We were both unarmed. He woke me and we hid in the closet until it was quiet. We listened as they killed Kate and Max and her mother. We had tried to call out for help, but they cut the phone lines. They came back into the room and we hid under the bed. They had Kate's father and they made him open the safe. They were looking for something. When they didn't find it, they killed him. Elliot and I watched him die from under that bed. They trashed the place to try and make it look like a robbery. I think whatever it is they were looking for is on that flash drive."

"Where did you get it?"

"It doesn't matter. The information there is enough to close your case," she reached out and closed her hand around it once more.

"What are you doing?"

"It's yours. Right after you help us put away the guys who killed Kate and her family."

"Olivia, you are with holding evidence in a federal investigation. I could have you arrested."

"Are you sure?" She asked holding up the little black flash drive. "Do you have any idea what kind of lawsuit I could have against the F.B.I. if you arrest me and that evidence you want so badly is not on this?"

"That is blackmail."

"I'll do whatever it takes. But I give you my word. When those men are in custody, I will gladly hand over the flash drive with everything you need to close your case."

Porter shook his head and looked at Elliot.

"You are just going to sit there and let her incriminate herself?"

"I'm just here for the coffee." Elliot said with a shit eating grin. Even he hadn't seen that move coming. But he loved watching Olivia so cool and calm as she held Porter hostage for the information at her fingertips.

"Okay," Porter said. "You have a deal."

He and Olivia sat in their car as they watched Porter drive away.

"That was amazing," Elliot said with a grin.

"Thank you."

"You really carried that flash drive in there and waved it around in front of him knowing how important it was to his investigation? What if he had just taken it from you? Or arrested you?"

She laughed. "Then he would have had a good time explaining in court how your ipod play list could possibly be the link to closing his case."

"What?"

Olivia laughed and tossed the flash drive to Elliot.

"I switched them back at the hotel. This one just has a bunch of music on it."

"Where is the real one?"

"In a very safe place," she said with a smile and she pulled it from her bra.

Elliot laughed.

"I am not letting this out of my possession. It could save both our lives if we get into a bind."

"Damn you are smart!"

"I try," she said with a smile.

"So what now?"

"We wait. If I know Dean porter, the way I think I do. He will be back around with something that will help us. He wants this too bad," she said holding up the flash drive before slipping it back into her bra.

"You keep it there, I know a lot of guys who would be interested in it."

Olivia laughed and shook her head.

"Let's get out of here."

"Yes, ma'am."


	11. 11 Disturbing Behavior

_Helpless_

_(Chapter Eleven: Disturbing Behavior)_

Olivia stared out the window into the rain as Elliot paced the floor behind her.

"Cragen is pissed, Liv. We're gonna have to go back soon."

"I figured we would have heard from Porter by now," she admitted watching the rain pound off her car in the parking lot. "It wasn't supposed to be this way. I figured we would have found something by now."

"You found that flash drive. That's something. Let's go over what we have," Elliot said dumping a file of notes out onto the hotel bed.

Twenty minutes later they still sat rereading notes. Then there was a knock at the door. Olivia shifted her eyes to look at Elliot.

"You'd better get that," he said. "Could be Prince Charming."

Olivia picked up the file from the bed and hit him in the arm with it as she walked over to open the door. Before she did she looked through the peek hole to see who it was.

"It's Porter," she said looking back at Elliot.

Elliot shuffled the papers on the bed tucking them back into the file and placing the file into the drawer of the nightstand. He looked back at Olivia and nodded his head.

She put on a smile and opened the door. "You came back," she said staring up at Porter.

"You asked me to, Olivia."

"Come on in," she said moving aside and allowing him to enter the room.

Elliot watched the dark haired man as his eyes scanned the cheep motel room. "Nice place you got here," Porter said in a sarcastic tone as his eyes came to rest on Elliot sitting on the edge of the only one bed in the small room.

Elliot smiled, knowing exactly the question that was on Porter's mind.

"So," Olivia said taking a seat on a small desk in one corner of the room leaving the chair open for their guest, "have you got anything for us?"

"Actually, I do. The name of the man your victim was working with to embezzle the money from the company he worked for." He handed Olivia a paper with the name and a short biography about the man.

"Davis Parker?" Olivia read the man's name from the page in her hand.

"They worked together for nearly nine years. From what I can tell they had been running this operation for the past few years. I'm guessing Parker realized that his partner was working with the F.B.I. Somehow he knew that your victim had enough evidence to take him down."

"Parker was afraid our victim would flip him for a deal," Elliot thought out loud. "So he hires a couple of locals to go in and rob the family. Threaten him, spook him. Maybe they didn't count on the entire family being home. Or house guests. So they are roughing up Kate's father and wake Kate and Max. They come in and try to stop the attack, things get out of hand and the attackers over power them. They tie them up and try to use them to convince Kate's father to hand over the flash drive."

"Only the flash drive isn't at the house, it's at the office," Olivia added.

"He has nothing to give them," Elliot continued. "So they kill the family in front of him think that will be enough to make him talk. They think what they want is surely in the safe, lead him upstairs to open it for them and kill him. But what they are looking for isn't there. They get greedy and take a few jewelry items instead. Only to realize that when the news of the murders went public the items were reported missing. So they pawn them to get rid of the evidence of the crime."

"We need to talk to that pawn shop and see if they have anything we can use," Olivia said. "If we can identify the men who were in the house we may be able to get information from them that will help us take down Parker. What I don't understand is if Parker worked with Kate's father then why didn't he already think to check the office for the flash drive?"

"He probably did. Keep in mind he probably wouldn't have known that he was looking for a flash drive. Just evidence. And I am sure he wouldn't have thought to look underneath the desk. I am sure he checked the office first. When he couldn't find it then he sent the men to the house to get it," Elliot replied.

"We have to find a way to talk to this Parker guy without tipping him off," Olivia suggested.

"You can't do that. It would jeopardize my case."

"Look I know that you have to do what you have to do, focus on the money trail. But I will not let these murderers go unpunished."

"Olivia, I understand your seeking justice. Kate was your friend. But you cant just got stomping around and ruining an ongoing investigation for the F.B.I."

"So what, now the murders don't matter anymore?"

"I didn't say that. All I am saying is that it is strictly out of friendship that I am even having this conversation with you."

Olivia raised her eyes to glare at him.

"Rightfully and legally the moment I found out you had information on my case that you were refusing to turn over, I should have called and had you arrested."

"Arrested?" Olivia scoffed.

"For obstructing justice. Standing in the way of a federal investigation. You are with holding evidence Ms. Benson, that could close my case. But instead of turning it over, you feel the need to use it to get me to help you. Until now I have been cooperative with your little charade, but you are really starting to piss me off. If you continue with this unauthorized investigation, I will have no choice but to have you arrested."

"Now wait a minute," Elliot said standing in her defense.

"No, El. Let him think whatever he wants," Olivia said walking toward the door. "It is Detective Benson and I would like you to leave now, Agent Porter." She opened the door and motioned for him to leave.

"Detective Benson," Porter said getting up in her face. Olivia stared into his eyes as his nose rested only centimeters from hers. "I suggest you turn over any evidence you may have that could further my investigation."

"What makes you think I have anything that could help you?" She asked with a smile.

"Detective Benson I was hoping we could work this out without any trouble," he said grabbing Olivia by the arm.

"Okay," she said jerking out of his grasp. "What do you want?"

"Don't be coy, Olivia. I want the flash drive!"

"Oh, okay." Olivia walked across the room and picked up the small black device from the nightstand beside the lamp. "Here you go," she said tossing it to him.

"Now if you don't mind," Elliot barked holding the door open and guiding Porter out onto the sidewalk.

Elliot closed the door and leaned against it. "That's just great."

"What?"

"You just gave Porter the only piece of actual evidence we had toward a lead."

Olivia smiled. "You mean this?" She asked pulling the flash drive from her bra. "Do you really think I would sell out that easily?"

"No," Elliot said with a smile.

"But as soon as he figures out what is on that flash drive he is going to be pissed. We have to get out of this hotel. Tonight, now, Before he comes back." Olivia grabbed her bag and stuffed her things into it as Elliot gathered his. "I don't really think he shares your taste in music, Elliot."

Elliot laughed. "Probably not. You know, it's a real shame that you and agent Porter aren't friends anymore."

"Yeah, well I wont lose any sleep over it. Let's get out of here."


	12. 12 Trying To Unwind

_Helpless_

_(Chapter Twelve: Trying To Unwind)_

Elliot groaned as he slipped his arm around her in the bed and raised up to look at the clock on the nightstand.

"Who the hell is calling you at three o'clock in the morning?" He growled as Olivia picked up her cell phone.

"Well, we know it isn't Cragen, seeing how our little adventure in Seattle landed us both on a two week suspension."

"More like a paid vacation," Elliot remarked as a grin crossed his face. "Let's face it, Liv, it has been a pretty great couple of days on suspension. Sleeping in every morning and lounging around the apartment all day. Spending every night staying up late and making love. And we're getting paid for it! Throw in a couple of those daiquiris with the little umbrellas and a warm sandy beach and we have a real vacation."

"It is the closest I have had in years. I was using my vacation time for Kate's wedding in Seattle and you see how that turned out."

She looked down at her phone as it rang again.

"It's Porter," she said sitting up in the bed.

"So answer it and tell him we are busy having hot sweaty sex and lets go back to bed."

"Elliot," she said hitting his shoulder.

"What the hell is Porter doing calling you at three o'clock in the morning?"

"I don't know. But I am sure to be calling at this hour it must be important."

"Yeah, he didn't like eighties hair band music you gave him on that flash drive."

"Shit, I forgot about the flash drive."

"Give me that," Elliot said taking the phone from her hand and opening it. Olivia watched nervously as Elliot hit the ignore option and turned off the phone.

"What did you do that for?"

"I was tired of hearing it ring. Let it go to voice mail. If it is important he will either leave a message or call back at a decent hour when you are not sleeping. And this way we can kind of tell by the tone of his voice if he actually has information for us or if he is just pissy because my girlfriend outsmarted him once again."

Olivia laughed as she laid the phone back on the night stand and snuggled back in against Elliot. "You get so defensive about him."

"I can't help it, the guy is a prick. And it eats him up to think and not know for sure that I am with you."

Olivia smiled. "You're jealous of him."

"Whoa! I am _not _jealous of Agent Dean _Dumbass_ Porter!"

She laughed. "It's not a competition, Elliot. If I wanted to be with Porter, I would be with Porter. I chose you. He never stood a chance."

"Yeah, because he's a dumbass!"

"Go to sleep, Stabler!" She raised up over him placing her nude body against his as she kissed him tenderly.

She laid back down and curled in against him as she closed her eyes. Elliot kissed the top of her head as he combed his fingers through her dark hair.

"I love you, Olivia."

"I love you, too."

She tipped her head back to stare up into his eyes as she leaned forward to kiss him again.

"And I am not going anywhere," she whispered. "Especially not with Porter. I am here with you and this is where I plan to stay. I know he deliberately pushes your buttons. Just try to ignore him. He is jealous of you."

"Because I have the one thing he wants," Elliot said softly cupping his hand against the side of her face.

"You have my heart," she whispered with a soft smile as she turned inward kissing the palm of his hand. "But the truth is Dean Porter never could have had a chance, even back in Portland. Because my heart already belonged to you."

"That's my girl," he said kissing her tenderly. "We should get some sleep," he said as he laid his head back against the pillow.

"Actually, I'm already awake now," she said with an insinuating smile as she winked at him.

"You are so bad. Ms. Benson," Elliot replied as he kissed her and pulled the blankets over their heads.

* * *

Olivia climbed out of the shower and dressed herself in a pair of running pants and one of Elliot's tee shirts for another lazy day around the apartment. She walked through her bedroom and smiled at him still sleeping there in her bed. A few minutes later she started a breakfast of coffee and omelets for the two of them.

Elliot awoke to the smell of sausage and made his way to the kitchen rubbing his tired eyes.

"Morning," she said with a bright smile.

"Morning," he replies raising one eyebrow to look at her. "You are awful cheerful this morning."

"I feel great. I ran three miles and have already had a shower and am working on my second cup of coffee. It is a beautiful day and I was thinking maybe we could take advantage of having this time off work."

She watched the look on his face as he took a sip of his coffee.

"Exactly what did you have in mind?"

"I don't know. Something outdoors. It is so nice out and we have not had much outside time lately. Maybe a walk in Central Park or a picnic lunch. Something."

"I am up for anything as long as I get to spend the time with you."

Olivia smiled as he kissed her tenderly. "Breakfast will be ready soon."

Elliot made his way across the room and opened the door to step out on the balcony. "It is nice out here. You know what this kind of weather is perfect for?"

"Picnics in the park?"

"Fishing."

"Fishing?"

"Nothing better than spending a beautiful day like this out on the lake."

"Fishing?"

"You have never been fishing? Ever caught a fish?"

"Not one that didn't require a little net and an aquarium."

"You will love it. I know this place where we can rent a boat and spend a few hours out on the water. It is very relaxing."

"I don't skin things or touch anything gross, like worms or guts."

Elliot laughed. "It's alright, we'll fish with minnows. They are not as bad to touch. That is the only way I can get my girls to fish."

"Your girls fish?"

"Well, they did when they were little. Not in a few years. Dickie, Eli and I still go about once a year."

A couple hours later Olivia found herself standing on the floating dock of a bait shop. It smelled horrible and almost everything was green with the algae from the water.

"Are you coming?" Elliot asked as he reached out for her hand.

Olivia made a face in obvious protest to the fish smell and took his hand. She looked out at the ducks splashing on the water and smiled as she noticed a group of five baby ducklings playing together as well.

"Do you want to feed them?" Elliot asked as she looked back at him with a smile.

"What do they eat?"

"They sell bags inside. It is dried bread and feed and some other stuff. You just toss it out there and watch them, it is really cute."

"Okay," she said with a smile.

Elliot stepped inside for a few minutes and returned with a brown paper bag.

"Here you go. Just toss a little handful out and watch them."

They stood on the dock for a while laughing and talking as they fed the ducks. Elliot studied the smile on her face, he loved seeing her this happy. And with all of the horrible things that had gone on in her life lately, it had been a long time since she had smiled like this.

"Can I show you something else?" He asked as he wrapped her tight in his arms. "Look right down here in the water," he said as she looked over the rail into the murky water just below them.

Elliot dropped a handful of the food just off the rail and they watched as several huge fish appeared at the surface to fight for it.

"Oh my God!" Olivia squealed as she stumbled back into him.

"They're not gonna get you."

"They are huge! Where did they come from?"

"They are carp and catfish, mostly. They are bottom feeders and live on the bottom of the lake. They stay up here around the dock and eat the bits of bread and popcorn people toss in that the ducks miss."

"They got that big from eating bread?"

"Shows you what carbs can do, huh?" Elliot laughed. "No, some of them also eat smaller fish."

"Is that what we are going to catch today?"

"Well, were just here for the fishing, not necessarily the catching and eating part. So we will probably catch mostly black bass and crappie. Then we'll release them back into the water so they are unharmed."

"Oh, okay."

"You wanna go on inside and get our gear?"

"Gear?"

"You know, poles and bait. I am assuming you don't have a fishing license?"

She shook her head as she looked at him.

"Come on," Elliot said extending his hand to her, "I'll get you fixed up."

They walked around inside for a while as Olivia stared down into tanks with millions of tiny fish in them.

"What kind of fish are these?" She asked pointing down at them.

"Bait," the store owner replied as he began to scoop them up and pour them our into a Styrofoam bucket.

"Those are feeder fish," Elliot said as they watched the man fill their bucket. "They are raised to provide food for the bigger fish. That is what we fish with."

"Oh," she said as he showed her to the fishing poles.

There were not many to choose from, only about ten or twelve poles on a rack against the wall.

"What do you think?"

"I don't know anything about them. What is good?"

"Any of these will work well for what we want them for. So just pick one out, whatever you like."

"I like the green one," she said picking up a pole that was black with green glitter flecks through it."

"I figured you would like that one. Green is your favorite color." Olivia smiled at the thought of him remembering this fact. "I'll take the blue one," Elliot said as they carried their poles to the cash register. "We also need a license for her. Just a one day pass is fine for now." He turned and looked back at Olivia. "If you like this and think you might like to go again sometime, then I will buy you a one year license."

She smiled as they carried their purchases out to the boat they had rented for the afternoon.

"Life jackets and paddles are in the front if you need them. Gas tank if full. Fill it back up before you turn in the keys," the man said pointing to the fuel pumps at the end of one of the docks. All of our boats have a GPS and this is programmed as home, so you don't have to worry about getting lost. Here is a map that shows some popular fishing hot spots and the GPS also has sonar to tell you how deep the water is. Flares and a first aid kit up front as well as a working radio should you need to call for help. We can track the boats from the base, so there is no need to worry should you get lost. Stay with the boat and we will find you."

Olivia looked nervously back at Elliot.

"I'm not trying to scare you ma'am, I just have to say these things so that you can be prepared incase an emergency should arise. It's procedure. Mr. Stabler, you have rented our boats before, I assume you are familiar with driving one?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, here are your keys. Have a great time."

"Thank you," Elliot said shaking the man's hand.

They watched as the man walked back to the bait shop.

"You ready?" Elliot asked with a smile.

"Ready as I will ever be," she said as she took his hand and he helped her inside the boat.

"Relax. This is supposed to be fun. "

Olivia smiled as she sat down and looked out over the water as the boat began to move. Elliot pulled back around near the car and got the cooler of cold drinks and snacks from the car then they were off.

Elliot showed her how to bait her hook and cast a line.

"You have never been fishing or learned how to cast a line on a pole, what planet are you from?" He joked as he showed her how to hold the pole.

"Manhattan," she replied with a sly smile. "I'm a city girl, El. Besides, it isn't like I had a father to take me fishing when I was a kid."

"Baby, I didn't mean it like that."

"It's okay. I'm pretty girly, I know that. I don't know the first thing about fishing."

"Well, you cannot say that anymore." Elliot smiled and kissed her.

Twenty minutes later Olivia caught the first fish of the day. Elliot took it off the hook for her and held it up to look at it, but she refused to touch it.

"Really makes you hungry for sushi, doesn't it?"

"Eww," she laughed. "I don't think I will ever eat sushi again."

She watched as Elliot lowered the fish back into the water and released it.

"See, isn't this fun?"

"It is so peaceful out here. Like we are the only two people in the world. I mean it is a smelly, stinky world that reeks like fish. But still peaceful. And really pretty," she said looking out over the lake.

Before long they were laying back in the boat just relaxing and holding on to one another as they drifted around in the water. It was almost as if here, in this place, the rest of the world could not touch them.

When they had finished fishing for the day, Elliot watched as Olivia released the dozen or so minnows they hadn't used. Back at her apartment he placed the minnow bucket and poles into the closet then joined her in the shower to wash the fishy smell of the boat and the lake off of them.

"Did you have fun today?" He asked as he stepped into the water with her.

"I did. Thank you for such a wonderful day. And for teaching me to fish."

"You are very welcome. I had another idea," he said as he soaped up her hair for her. "For dinner."

"No trout or salmon or sushi."

Elliot laughed. "No, I was thinking about setting up the grill on the roof and making some barbeque chicken for dinner."

"That sounds really good. I could make a salad and whatever else to go with it."

"We still have a six pack of beer in the fridge."

"It's a date," she said with a smile as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "I love you, Elliot."

"I love you, too."

"I mean it. I really love you."

"Even when I smell like fish?"

She laughed. "Even when you smell like fish."

"I really love you, too."

That evening as they sat at the table together eating dinner the doorbell rang.

"I wonder who that could be," she said folding her napkin and laying it on the table.

"I wonder who let them in the building."

She walked across the room and combed her fingers through her hair as she opened the door. There staring her in the eye was Dean Porter.

"Agent Porter, what brings you here?" She asked as he brushed past her entering the apartment.

"I have been trying to reach you for days, Detective Benson. This is a serious matter. You never answer your phone or return calls. I had no other choice than to come by here in person."

She rubbed her hands over her face and looked back at him. "I told you I would give you the evidence and I fully intend to. But I need a little time and cooperation, first."

"Olivia, we have two more bodies."

"What? Are you sure?"

"We ran the prints from the two John Doe's that turned up in a river near Seattle a few days ago. They match perfectly to the prints we pulled from the personal items what were stolen from the crime scene and pawned. These two men were the men we suspected in the murders."

"So obviously they weren't in it alone," Elliot said as he stepped out of the dining room and into the living room where they were talking.

Porter stared at Elliot for a moment then looked back at Olivia. "Someone is tying up loose ends. Those men had your ID and knew you were in that house. Thank makes you a loose end," he said staring into Olivia's eyes. "Davis Parker hired those men to kill Kate's family. But I don't have enough evidence to prove it yet. I was just about to close in on the suspects and try to turn them. But before we could grab them they turned up dead. This man has your ID, so he knows where you live. You are not safe here. I have men watching Parker and they will let me know if he makes a move. But a man like him isn't going to do the dirty work himself. Is there somewhere else you can stay just until this all blows over?"

"She can stay at my place," Elliot said looking at the worried look in her eyes. "You'll be safe there," he brushed back some of her hair and kissed her forehead.

"These men mean business Detective Stabler and I am sure they wont hesitate to kill her if they think she knows anything at all. Don't let her out of your site. I'm going to have men watching your apartment, Olivia. If anyone makes a move, we'll have them. You should pack some things and be out of here in the next few hours. The sooner, the better. And leave your car. I have a car waiting downstairs that will transport the two of you anywhere you want to go. But I need to be able to reach you."

"I'll give you my address and cell number. I would rather leave hers here just incase they have a way to trace it."

"I have to get going. Give me a call at this number once the two of you are safe," he said handing Elliot a business card. "If you go out at all I want a shadow on you. The man behind this is already responsible for the deaths of six people. He wont hesitate to kill again."


	13. 13 A Change Of Pace

_Helpless_

_(Chapter Thirteen: A Change Of Pace)_

"I am bored out of my mind," Olivia said staring out the window at the unmarked police car on the street below.

"It is for your own good."

"We have been cooped up in here for two weeks with absolutely no connection to the outside world. I am going to go insane."

"Well, it isn't safe to go out."

She closed the curtain and walked across the room toward him.

"They have been watching my apartment for two weeks now with out a sign of anything out of the ordinary. We have been locked away in here with nothing to do. You have not been able to see your kids. This is ridiculous. Don't you think that if some bad men were after me they would have been to my place by now?"

"Liv, if these guys are any good at all, I am sure that they know the cops are watching your apartment. They are waiting for us to give up and let our guard down. They are not going to make a move while the cops are right outside the door."

"Still, I want to go home. I miss sleeping in my own bed."

"Home? You have got to be joking. Is it really worth losing your life to go back there and sleep in your own bed?"

"I have already lost my life. Life as I knew it anyway. I had to give up everything. I can't work, I can't run, we can't even go for a walk in the park or go out to lunch because some bad guy might try to get us. News flash Elliot, this is New York and we are cops, the bad guys are always out to get us."

"This is different and you know it."

"I'm just going stir crazy here. I want to be outside in the sunshine or do something, anything just to get out of the apartment. Can't you understand that?"

"I understand it," he said patting the sofa beside him as she made her way to his side. "And I feel it, too. But I am not willing to risk losing you over a walk in the park."

Elliot wrapped his arm around her as she leaned back against his chest.

"I know something that might help, though."

"I'm not really in the mood right now."

Elliot laughed.

"Not that. Why don't we talk to Porter about moving us?"

Olivia raised her eyes in interest.

"Where?"

"I don't know, anywhere. Just a change of scenery."

"That would be great. Do you think he would go for it?"

"Probably, if _you_ asked him. He is not exactly a fan of mine."

"But where should we go?"

"Where would you like to go, sweetheart?"

"Somewhere we don't have to stay indoors all of the time. I want to be able to go out and run or enjoy an evening walk. Just get away from this mess for a while."

"Why don't you call Porter and ask him to come over here so we can discuss this? We can sit down to dinner or something."

"You seriously want me to call and invite Dean Porter over to your apartment for dinner?"

"Olivia, everything else aside….the only thing that matters to me is that you are safe and happy. You are miserable being kept all cooped up like this. I can act like a grown up long enough to get the guy over here and let you talk him into getting us away from here and someplace where we can actually have some kind of life. "

"Okay, if you are sure about this I will call Porter and invite him over for dinner."

_**TWO DAYS LATER….**_

"Can I get you another glass of wine?" Olivia asked filling Dean Porter's glass before he could refuse.

"She's quite the hostess, isn't she?" he joked looking over at Elliot.

"She is," Elliot agreed smiling at Olivia and hoping Agent Porter would notice.

"It is just nice to have someone to talk to. It has just been El and I for days. We're about to go stir crazy."

"I'm still trying to figure out how you managed to get the wine," Porter said looking in her direction. "The two of you are not allowed outside that door."

"I have my ways," Olivia replied crossing her long legs to show him a bit of flesh. "I have a friend on the outside," she said with a sly smile.

Porter laughed.

"So, what exactly is it that you wanted to talk to me about?" he asked.

Elliot looked over at her as he moved to the kitchen to bring out dessert.

"I was just wondering if you had any idea how long we have to say in seclusion like this?"

"Until we catch these guys. You know this."

"You can't expect us to stay here in this little apartment forever. Do you have any leads at all?"

"I have men sitting on your apartment and scattered all over this city waiting for these men to make one wrong move. Just one."

"Meanwhile we are just stranded here like animals in a cage?"

"Anything you want or need will be brought to this door. I will make sure of that."

"Dean, isn't there something more you can do?" she asked.

"What did you have in mind?"

"I don't know, like move us maybe."

"Move you? Do you think someone made you?"

"No. I don't think so, we have been inside these four walls for the last two and a half weeks."

"Why do you need to move?"

"I don't guess we _need_ anything. I am just asking for a favor."

"What do you want? I can probably pull a few strings and get you into a hotel. Maybe someplace with room service and a mini bar."

"I was thinking more like another city."

"Another city?"

"Someplace where we don't have to hide indoors all of the time."

"Olivia, it isn't safe."

"Dean, we're not civilians. But if you keep us locked up in here we are both liable to go postal. Isn't there something you can do?"

"Liv…."

"Dean…."

"You don't give up. Do you?"

"No she doesn't," Elliot replied handing Porter a saucer with a slice of Italian Cream cake and a cup of coffee.

"We just need a break," she said looking at him with tired eyes. "A few days even. Something, somewhere, where we can go for a walk or sit outside in the sunshine."

"Give me a few days to talk to some people…. I will see what I can do."

"Thank you," she said with a soft smile. "Would you like more coffee?"

"No, thank you. Actually, I'd better be going. Dinner was wonderful and this cake is amazing."

"Thanks. Just a few things I could throw together from a list of ingredients I sent to the corner market with one of your men. I do better if I can shop around myself and get ideas, but I guess this will have to do for now."

"Sit tight. I will get back with you as soon as I can. I am not sure I can promise anything permanent, but maybe I can talk them into letting you take a small get away."

"At this point, anything would be wonderful. Thanks, Dean."

"Good night, Olivia."

"Agent Porter," Elliot said extending his hand to shake the man's.

That night as Elliot and Olivia laid in bed together things between them started to heat up. Elliot slipped his hand up her thigh and pulled off the boxer shorts she wore with one of his old tee shirts. They kissed and touched in the darkness, until Olivia stopped him.

"Wait," she whispered softly.

"I thought you wanted to?"

"I do. But first, you need one of these," she said handing him a condom.

Elliot stared at the little foil wrapper in his palm.

"We don't use condoms."

"We do now," she said closing his hand over it.

"Since when?

"Since I ran out of pills and the mere mention to that officer of picking up 'girl' products freaked him out. He thought I meant tampons and he still couldn't handle it."

"So, the man wouldn't buy you tampons but he bought condoms?"

"Not exactly. I told him that what I needed was very important, but he still refused to let me leave. He did, however, allow me to call Casey and have her pick me up a few things."

"She couldn't just pick up your prescription?"

"The pharmacy wouldn't let her. This was the best she could do."

"So, you told Casey we are sleeping together?"

"I didn't tell her," Olivia said with a shy smile, "but by the look on her face when she delivered the bag of things I asked for from the drugstore she figured it out."

"Casey knows," he mumbled aloud.

"Hey, it was call Casey for condoms or not have sex until whenever they get this mess figured out. I decided to give her a call."

"Good decision," Elliot said with a nod. "I just have to get used to the idea of Casey knowing we are having sex."

"Well, we are sort of dating, Elliot."

"Sort of? I thought we were."

"We are. I just mean that we cant exactly go out on dates right now, but we are a couple. And when all of this is over and we can return to our normal lives there will be a lot of people who have to get used to the idea of us dating."

"You don't sound too worried about it."

"I'm not ashamed of loving you. You are a wonderful man. You are my best friend and I am crazy about you. In our line of work we don't really have time for relationships. You an I just seem to have found a way to make one work."

"Yeah, lots of crazy hot sex with your partner. I mean yeah, I have been shot at more times than I would like to count in the last couple of weeks, but there is no one I would rather be stuck here with than you."

"Aww, that is sweet, El. Thank you for sticking through all of this with me. Most guys would have taken off a long time ago and I never would have heard from them again."

"I'm not most guys."

"No, you're not," she said kissing him tenderly. "You are my guy."

"Only yours. And you are the only one that I would go through something like this for. Well, not the only _one_. But you and the kids. I would do anything for you Olivia. And I would do anything to make you happy."

She smiled and kissed him again.

"I'm happy with you," she whispered as he kissed her tenderly. "Condom," she breathed against his ear as she smiled and pressed her forehead to his.

"Yes, dear."

It was just after sun up when the phone rang the next morning. Elliot opened his eyes and reached to the night stand beside the bed trying not to wake her.

"Stabler," he said softly as he cleared his throat. "Agent Porter," he said as Olivia opened her eyes.

She watched as Elliot listened to the voice on the other end of the line, but she couldn't tell what was being said.

"I understand. No, two weeks would be great. I think she just needs a break from all of this. I will talk to Liv and get back to you. Alright, thank you."

Elliot hung up the phone and laid it back on the night stand as she raised up to look at him.

"Well?"

"Well, he talked to….whomever it was he needed to talk to and they said the most they can do is give us two weeks."

"Two weeks is better than nothing."

"True. It would give us both a little time to try and relax and live a normal life again. Even if it is only for a short time."

"Did he say where they were sending us?"

"How do you feel about St. Louis?"

"St. Louis?" she asked giving him a strange look.

"As in a small city in the eastern part of Missouri."

"I don't know. I have never been there."

"Neither have I. But Porter says he can put us there for two weeks. There are agents there, people he trusts. He says we will be safe there. We will have a shadow of course, anytime we go out. But we will actually be able to go out and live a little. Kind of like a little mini vacation. And when things return to normal I will take you on a real vacation, I promise."

"So you think we should do this? You think we should go to St. Louis?"

"I think it would be a good idea," he said cupping his hand against her cheek and kissed her forehead. "I love you and I want you to be happy. I don't want to keep you cooped up like this."

"I love you, too."

"Alright, I will call Agent Porter and let him know that we would like to visit St. Louis."

"I think I'm gonna get up and fix us some breakfast," she said climbing from the bed and pulling on the tee shirt from the floor as she made her way across the room.


	14. 14 Restless

_Helpless_

_(Chapter Fourteen: Restless)_

Olivia climbed the stirs and stepped out onto the roof. She exhaled spotting her partner and made her way to his side.

"Pretty," she said softly admiring the night view of the city.

"It's nothing compared to the view back home," he replied handing her a glass of red wine. "This doesn't even compare to the view from the roof of your apartment building."

"You're right," she agreed watching as he tucked an envelope into his pocket. "I'll have to confess I am beginning to get a little homesick."

Elliot turned and smiled as he brushed a bit of hair from her dark eyes. She smiled as he kissed her forehead, then turned to make his way back inside.

"El," she called out stopping him in his place. "This is only going to be harder if we can't communicate. You are all I have. Right now our entire world revolves around each other. I wish you would talk to me. I can't help you, be here for you if you don't tell me what is going on with you."

Elliot exhaled deeply then turned and took her hand in his, forcing a smile.

"I guess I am just homesick, too."

She watched as he nodded and walked back down the steps to the tiny hotel room.

"It's been over a month. You must miss them terribly."

"Yea," he replied squeezing the envelope on his hand sat down at the small table in the corner of the room. "I appreciate the trouble Porter must have gone through to get this to me. You should thank him for me."

"I will. Or you could thank him yourself when he picks us up to take us back to New York tomorrow."

Elliot smiled.

"I'll do that," he agreed.

"Can I ask what it says?" she asked sitting beside him.

"They miss me. They each wrote a little note," he replied sliding a photograph of the five smiling children across the table for her to look at.

"I missed the twin's birthday. They turned seventeen two days ago and I couldn't even call them or send them a card."

"They understand that you couldn't be there. And you will make it up to them when all of this is over."

"I didn't even send them a card, but they got this letter to me."

"Porter helped them to get that to you. But you didn't have anyone here to help you get anything out to them."

"I'm their father, Olivia. I was there when they were born and no matter what else I had going on in my life with work or whatever….I have never missed a single birthday. Not until now. Birthdays are something you just don't miss."

"You couldn't help it. This time was out of your control. And if I know them the way I know that I do, they will forgive you."

"They always do. For missing ballet recitals and soccer games, father daughter dances and kindergarten graduations. Hell, I even missed first steps and first words. I wasn't there for any of those things. Because I had to work. There was always some big case or some bad guy who demanded more attention than my children, who got the attention I stole from my children. I have missed so much already, missed them growing up," he said staring down at the photograph once more. "It seems like just yesterday the twins were eight years old and we were shooting hoops in the driveway. Kathleen was about to enter junior high and Maureen worried only about how to fix her hair for the freshman Valentine's Dance and if the fool who asked her out was going to kiss her at the end of the night."

Olivia smiled.

"Did he?"

"He better not have," Elliot snapped defensively raising his eyes to look at her and she smiled again.

"And Eli…." I missed everything with him. "I wasn't there when he was born."

"That was unexpected and uncontrollable. You tried to get there before he arrived, I know you did. Kathy knows you did and your son will know, too."

"I remember coming home after working three days straight and being so damn tired. And the baby just cried and cried. More than once I snapped at Kathy to quiet him down. And more than once she yelled at me for not helping take care of our newborn. She was exhausted, too. All she was asking was for me to help out a little with late night diaper duty and give the baby a bottle once in a while so that she could take a ten minute un-interrupted shower. She deserved that. A few minutes to herself, for herself. To keep her sanity. But I didn't give it to her. I just crawled in bed, covered my head and went to sleep. Honestly I am surprised she put up with my ass as long as she did."

"You are a good father. Our job is more than exhausting. This will be over soon. And when it is, we can go back home and get back to our lives. You can be there with them again. And make it up to them."

"It's not just this last month I need to make up to them. Even when I was there, I wasn't ever really there. I have only been a part time father at best."

Olivia sat down at the table beside him and studied the photograph for a moment.

"There is another way," she said softly as Elliot raised his head at attention. "Go home," she said softly.

"We will, as soon as this is all over," he replied placing his hand over hers.

"No. You go home now. Those men had no idea you were ever even in that house. They are only after me, El. You can still go home and be with your family."

"And leave you? Out of the question."

"It isn't like I would really be alone. I still have the shadows in ape suits," she joked, but he didn't even crack a smile.

"No way in Hell am I leaving you. We're a team, remember? I've got your back and you've got mine. You said it yourself, we are what is keeping each other sane through this. I would never leave you here alone, unprotected with no contact. No way to reach you, to know if you are safe or even alive. Not even an option."

"Elliot, I don't have a family waiting on me back home."

"Yes, you do. The guys from at work….me, we are your family. I am your partner, Olivia and your best friend. I took an oath to protect you, not matter what."

"So you feel obligated to be here? What about your obligations to protect your children?"

"Porter has them covered. If I thought for a second that they were in danger they would be right here with me. I miss them like crazy, Olivia, but my kids are safe. Porter and I may not agree on much, but he is a man of his word. I trust him. And I know that he would go to extreme lengths to protect my family," he replied squeezing her hand in his and smiling. "All of my family."

Olivia gulped and forced a smile.

"So that's it," he said staring into her eyes. "End of discussion. I don't want to bring this up again. Deal?"

"Deal," she whispered as he leaned forward to kiss her tenderly.

"This will all be over soon," he reminded her. "And when it is, I will make it up to them."

That night, Elliot pulled a few strings to take her on a horse drawn carriage tour of the city. The curled up together under a blanket sipping hot cocoa and admiring the lights of the arch and the moonlit banks of the Mississippi river. Twenty yards behind the carriage was an unmarked car containing their body guards. And the moment their two hour time limit had expired, they were rushed into the back of the car and escorted back to the hotel.

"So much for a romantic evening," Elliot said tossing his jacket aside as they entered the room.

"I thought it was very romantic," she said with a smile. "And greatly appreciated. Thank you. I think that was exactly what I needed."

The next morning came all too fast and just like that their little getaway was over. Olivia sat biting her nails in the back seat of the black four door sedan.

_Standard government car_, she thought to herself as they crossed yet another state line. _Who did they think they were fooling?_

"I never thought I would say this, but I miss flying," she said yawning as their time on the road was beginning to take it's toll.

"It just isn't safe right now," Porter reminded her shifting his eyes to meet hers in the rear view mirror. "There are too many people. Airports are crowded and it is too easy to track you. Too easy for anyone to check a flight log and find out exactly where you are. Even using a false identity, there is no guarantee. It is just isn't worth the risk."

Olivia exhaled in annoyance as she stared out the window.

"He is right, you know?" Elliot said from beside her as he slipped his hand into hers. "He is only trying to keep you safe."

"I know," she replied forcing a smile.

Elliot cleared his throat and turned his attention to the man in the mirror.

"I'd like to thank you for everything you have done for us, Porter. Helping out with this little break and making sure we have security. Keeping us both safe and slipping in that letter from my kids. I owe you big time."

"No problem," Porter said shaking his head and staring back at Elliot. "I know it was against procedure, but I thought it might help keep you from being so homesick. You guys should try to get some sleep. It makes the trip go by faster. Well, stop in a few hours for some lunch and fuel. I know this great little look out point that would make a pretty picnic spot and give us a safe place to walk around and stretch our legs. I'd like to drive as well past dark tonight. Stop around ten or so and I'll get a couple of rooms. Just long enough to grab a couple of hours sleep and a hot shower. We have to be back on the road before dawn. And I do not want either of you leaving the room for any reason. The fewer people see the two of you, the better."

"We understand," Elliot replied placing his arm around her as she exhaled.

What seemed like only moments later Olivia opened her eyes and realized the car had stopped. She raised her head to see Porter pumping gas into the car.

"El, wake up," she replied nudging him in the ribs as he opened his eyes.

Elliot smiled and raised up to kiss her.

"Finally, we have stopped moving."

"Yea. I have had to pee for about the last 200 miles," she replied reaching to pull her hair back into a ponytail as she opened the back door of the car.

"Where are you going?" Porter asked.

"I need to use the ladies room."

"There is a rest stop a few miles down the road."

"I have to go now. I have had to go for well over an hour. Come on, I am not completely defenseless," she argued.

He exhaled and looked around the parking lot at the few vehicles around them.

"Alright," he finally agreed and she watched as he leaned down as if tying his shoe. "But you take this with you," he replied pulling a small pistol from a holster on his ankle and handing it to her.

Olivia nodded and tucked the gun into the back of her jeans as she pulled on a hooded sweatshirt.

"If you gotta go, now's the time," Porter replied looking at Elliot.

He climbed from the car and stretched.

"You got one of those for me, too?" Elliot joked.

"No, you will have to go in with me. We will meet back up at the counter. I'm talking five minutes, tops."

"Okay," she agreed. "I will pee fast."

"We can pick up some drinks and snacks for later while we're here too if you'd like. Since everyone's already out of the car."

Olivia laughed as she walked out of the ladies room to find Elliot with an arm full of junk food.

"What? He said we could get snacks."

She winced and stared at his selections.

"I cannot believe you put that stuff in your body," she said shaking her head as she pulled a zero calorie Vitamin Water from the cooler. "All that processed sugar and saturated fat is not good for you, El."

"What about a Slim Jim?" he asked picking it up from the shelf. "That and the pork rinds, those are protein, right?"

Olivia laughed.

"Right," she agreed shaking her head as she walked past him.

Back in the car she settled in against him once more and buckled her seat belt.

"So what do you feel like eating?" Porter asked as they drove through town. "I see….burgers, burgers, burgers, fried chicken. Here's a Chinese place."

He paused to look up at Olivia who shook her head disapprovingly.

"We are eating healthy," Elliot replied. "There's a sub sandwich place."

"Does that work for you?" Porter asked looking at Olivia.

"Sure. At least everything on the menu isn't fried."

"Sandwiches it is," Porter replied pulling into the parking lot.

Olivia watched as the guys both ordered foot long sandwiches, bags of chips and drinks. Elliot raised an eyebrow watching as she ordered a chef salad, with lettuce and baby spinach leaves, turkey breast and lean ham, a bunch of vegetables, no cheese and no dressing.

"Anyone ever tell you that you eat like a rabbit?" Porter asked handing her a bottle of water.

"Its good for me. And I happen to like it. Besides, with all of this traveling and living out of hotel rooms I really have not been making the best food choices. It's nice to eat something healthy once in a while."

Porter drove for a few miles then parked the car the look out area he had told them about.

"This really is pretty," Olivia said leaning over the edge of a stone wall to look at the valleys below.

She sat on the wall and began to enjoy her lunch taking in as much of the fresh air as she could before returning to the city. Elliot sat beside her and they made small talk. Over by the car Porter walked around with his cell phone stuck to his ear, touching base with his FBI buddies once more and making sure that everything would be in place for their arrival.

"You sure you don't want a bite of mine?" Elliot offered turning his sandwich toward her. "Double steak and double cheese. And I had them put some of that chipotle mayonnaise on it. It's incredible," he mumbled through a mouth full of food.

"I'll take your word for it," she replied twisting the cap off her bottle of water.

"It's nothing like the sandwiches from that vendor by the courthouse, though. I don't know what he puts in those sandwiches, but they are incredible."

"They are pretty good," she agreed. "How long do you think it will take us to get back home?"

"I don't know. If we keep driving the way Porter wants to, we could be back late tomorrow night. It will sure be nice to be home, huh?"

"It would be better if I could sleep in my own bed," she exhaled.

"Liv…."

"I know. It isn't safe. But the thought of returning to that tiny apartment room feels an awful lot like going back to a prison cell."

"I'm sorry. Maybe we can work something out."

"What do you mean?"

"What if we found a place that was a little more secluded? Out of the city, but still close by. A place that would give us the chance to spend a little time outside without having to worry so much all of the time."

"I would say you were a miracle worker. What is this magical place? Or does it only exist in fairy tales?"

"Cragen's cabin."

"Cragen's cabin? But if these men know anything about us at all don't you think they would think to look for us at Cragen's cabin?"

"Maybe when they were first looking for us. I really don't think anyone would think to look there. And if they did, we would have our own arsenal of FBI agents there to arrest them."

"True. But what are we gonna do with him?" Olivia asked shifting her attention to Agent Porter who now seemed to be having a heated discussion with whoever was on the other end of the phone line. "He won't want his guys letting us out of their sight."

"There is a barn. Big enough to conceal them. He can even put someone inside all night if he needs to."

"He can?"

"Well, we will be in the bedroom. As long as they stay in the living room, I think it will be alright. It isn't like at the apartment where they can sit in the hallway at the door."

"I guess you are right. And it is probably the only way we're going to get him to go for it. Do you think he will go for it?"

"I was thinking maybe you could ask. He says yes more often when you ask him for favors."

Olivia just stared at him.

"That really sounded dirty," she replied. "Right. But dirty."

Elliot laughed as Porter hung up the phone.

"Ten minutes, then we've got to be back on the road," he announced and he seemed in a terrible mood.

"I wonder who was on the phone," Elliot thought aloud.

"I wonder what they said to piss him off," Olivia replied.

Back on the road things were quiet for a while. Elliot nudged Olivia encouraging her to strike up conversation and bring up their plan to Porter.

"So we were thinking," she began watching his eyes in the mirror for any sign of change.

But Porter focused his attention solely on the road in front of him.

"Maybe once we get back to New York we could find a different place to stay," she continued nervously. "Something that would allow us to be a little more secluded from the city and possibly be able to spend a little time outdoors now and then."

She bit her lower lip and waited for him to shout at her the way he did the person on the phone. But it didn't happen.

Olivia looked back at Elliot for a moment then continued the speech as she'd rehearsed in her head.

"Our boss has this cabin. It is about twenty minutes outside the city, in the middle of nowhere. We were….I was thinking maybe we could stay there for a little while. There is a barn next to the house, big enough to conceal several cars if you need to. Your guys could set up a base in there. You can even put a guy in the house with us if you need to."

"Olivia, I am sorry," he replied cutting her off. "But that just isn't going to be possible right now."

He paused for a moment then raised his eyes to meet hers in the mirror.

"While I was away getting you, someone trashed your apartment. I wasn't there to oversee things and you weren't staying there any longer so I guess the guys got pulled from their watch."

"It's just an apartment. The important thing is that everyone is safe," she said softly.

"There is more. Davis Parker was found dead in a crap motel room this morning."

"So it's over?" she asked with hope in her voice. "We can go home?"

"I'm afraid not. Coroner said he's been dead for over a week. It had to be someone else in the apartment."

"That means there are more people involved?" Elliot asked.

Porter nodded.

"That means we are right back where we started with no suspect. Someone out there is looking for her and we have no freaking idea who it is! That's what that means!"

Olivia stared at the floorboard allowing time for everything to sink in.

"So what is the plan?" Elliot asked protectively pulling her closer to him.

"I have to get you back to the city. We have a hotel room waiting for you. I have a team to sit with you until I can get another plan worked out, but for now you will just have to lay low. We still find no evidence what so ever that these men even know that you are involved Detective Stabler."

"Elliot."

"I'm sorry."

"People who risk their lives to save mine, get to call me by my first name. We are on the same team now."

"Even so, is there somewhere else your ex-wife can take the kids for a few weeks? Just to be on the safe side."

"She has family in Florida."

"I will put in a call and send someone over to help her get things loaded up. I am sending an agent with your family and they will meet up with a team there. I will make sure they are protected."

"I appreciate that," Elliot replied.

"We can be there by tomorrow afternoon if we drive straight through," Porter suggested. "Or we can stop for a few hours sleep if you would rather."

"But you have not slept," Olivia reminded him.

"I'll grab some coffee the next time we stop for gas. Really, I am good."

"If you are sure you can handle it, then I saw we just head on home."

"Home it is," Porter replied.

Olivia leaned back in the seat and tried not to worry. There was nothing she could do to change the situation they were in, so she'd might as well try to relax a little. She turned her attention to Elliot's hand as he placed it over hers dropping something into it. She opened her palm to see a handful of 'Mike & Ike' candies and she couldn't help but smile.

"Processed sugar," he said softly as she leaned forward to kiss him. "I got them for you. I know they are one of your favorites and candy always makes me feel better when I am stressing out."

"You are so amazing," she whispered with tears rising in her eyes.

Olivia hugged him tight as she studied the colorful candies in her palm.

"The green ones are my favorite," he said as she realized nearly the entire box was red, yellow and orange.

"I like the red ones," she said placing one into her mouth.

"That's why I saved them all for you."

Olivia smiled and buried her head into her chest. All of a sudden things seemed a whole lot more serious and a whole lot more scary.

"I arranged for a brief meeting with your kids before they go," Porter said looking at Elliot over his shoulder. "I know it could be a while before you get to see them again. We will meet up with them tomorrow before they head out."

"Are you sure that is safe?" Elliot asked.

"I will make sure it is," Porter replied. "We have picked a remote location, a hundred miles out in the middle of nowhere. Only two of us know the coordinates and it isn't on any map. You will only have a few minutes."

"I really appreciate everything you have done for us."

"We are going to get the people responsible for this. The man responsible has now killed across state lines. That leaves him wide open for us now. Before we had to tip toe around red tape because it technically wasn't our case. This is seven people he is responsible for murdering. He is a serial killer. The FBI doesn't take well to serial killers. And as soon as we have a description, his face will be plastered all over every television in every state. It is only a matter of time before he runs out of places to hide. I have people combing through Olivia's apartment searching for any clues he may have left behind."

"He is still killing. Doesn't quite seem like he is hiding to me," Olivia replied softly.

"Olivia, I promise you, we will get this guy. And I am not leaving your side until we do. I am going to do everything I can to make sure you are unharmed."

"I know," she whispered.

"For now, you guys should probably try to get some rest. It is going to be a long night."

Olivia opened her eyes in the darkness. Several hours had passed and Elliot was still asleep. She sat up and looked out the window into the night, staring up at the full moon.

"You alright?" Porter asked. There is a rest stop about ten miles ahead if you need me to pull over."

"No, I'm okay. Just a bad dream, I guess."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. To fill your head with all those horrible images before you fell asleep."

"Those images were already in there. I was there, Dean. I saw the slaughtered bodies of my friends and watched as they murdered my best friend's father in front of my eyes. He was staring at us."

"What?"

"Kate's father. We were hiding under the bed. He was staring at us, reaching out for us. Trying to ask for help, but he couldn't speak. I literally watched the life leave his body. I can't ever get that out of my head. I see it every time I close my eyes."

"Elliot is still asleep. Do you wanna move up here and we can talk for a while?"

"Talk about what?"

"Anything. Sometimes the best way to recover from a nightmare is to do something to take your mind off of it for a little while. Not much to do in this car but talk."

"True," Olivia agreed.

She kissed Elliot's cheek and covered him with the jacket he had given her earlier in the night. Then she climbed between the seats and settled into the passenger's seat.

"And talking to you will help keep me awake."

"You must be exhausted."

"Na, I'm good. There have been times when I have had to go days without sleep. A few hours wont hurt."

"Thank you," she said staring at him by the glow of the dashboard light. "I don't think I ever officially thanked you."

"About half a dozen times," Porter replied reaching to turn on the radio.

"Well, I should have said it at least a dozen more."

"See if you can find us a good station," he suggested as she took over the station search finally ending on something playing an endless variety of eighties music.

"Seriously?" he asked.

"You don't like eighties music?"

"I didn't say that. I guess I just figured you for more of a classical kind of girl."

Olivia laughed.

"I like a little bit of everything. Can't say that I listen to much classical, though. Tell me something about yourself," she said.

"What would you like to know?"

"I don't know. Tell me something I don't know already know about you. Where did you go to college?"

Over the next few hours they made small talk until Olivia was ready to fall asleep once more.

"Dean?" she asked with a yawn. "Can I ask a favor?"

"Anything."

She turned her head to look at Elliot still sleeping in the back of the car.

"It's a really big one."

"I'll do what I can," he said with a smile.

Olivia looked at him nervously, then leaned forward to whisper into his ear.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," she said as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Okay," he agreed. "Lets get back to New York and figure a few things out."

Olivia nodded as she leaned the seat back and closed her eyes.

It was mid afternoon the following day when they finally made it back to the city. Porter escorted them up to their hotel room for showers and a short nap before, they all climbed back into the car to go meet up with the kids.

It brought tears to Olivia's eyes to watch the kids hugging on their father. They were among the innocent victims, she thought to herself moments later as Elliot kissed them all and waved as they drove away.

"I'm sorry I couldn't give you more time," Porter said as they got back into the car.

"Any longer would put them in more danger," Elliot replied. "I understand. That ten minutes with them means the world to me."

That night, after making love, Olivia curled in against Elliot and laid her head against his chest.

"Tell me what you're thinking," he said.

"I'm thinking about how much I love you."

Elliot smiled.

"I love you, too. I've been thinking about that myself a lot lately."

"Yea?" she asked staring into his eyes.

"Yea."

She smiled.

"I've been thinking maybe after this is all over with….maybe we could get a place together."

"Move in together?"

"Well, your apartment has been ransacked. I don't know if you will ever feel safe there again. And my place is so damn tiny and I have spent way too many days locked in there to be able to relax there anymore. I was thinking maybe we could pick out a bigger place, together."

"What makes you so sure you want to live with me?"

"Olivia, I have lived with you every second of every day since this mess began. I'm used to you, I guess," he joked. "Seriously, though. I am crazy about you. And if you love me half as much as I love you, then I think we have one hell of a shot at making this work. I love being around you, sleeping with you."

"Well, I love it too, El."

"That part is pretty great, too. But I meant sleeping. I love holding you and watching you sleep and I love waking up with you in my arms. That, for me, is the best feeling in the world. Call me selfish, but I'd like to have that feeling every day."

Olivia smiled.

"Okay," she agreed. "When this is all over….if you can still stand to be around me….we can start looking for apartments together."

Elliot smiled.

"On one condition."

"What is that?"

"I get my own bathroom. You boys are so messy, with your shaving whiskers all in the sink and leaving the seat up and the cap off the tooth paste all of the time. I'm a girl, I really need a little bit of space for myself."

"Alright, it's a deal," he agreed as he kissed her tenderly. "We will get a bigger apartment with two bathrooms."

"I love you," she whispered as her heavy eyes fell shut.

"I love you, too," he replied kissing her tenderly and tucking the blankets around her and in seconds they were both sound asleep.

When Elliot woke the next morning, her place in the bed was empty.

"You got up early," he said rubbing his eyes as he stumbled to the bathroom. "Do you wanna order some breakfast?"

He stepped back into the living area of their room, but no one was there.

"Liv?" he asked looking back at the bed for her, but the room was empty.

Olivia was gone.


End file.
